“In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice.” Marquis de Sade remarked these words, and there remains no words more fitting to my outlook concerning my greatest pain. Not coincidentally Marquis de Sade is historically associated with his own very unique pains in life, but my greatest pain has naturally followed the pathways this quote maps. My greatest vice uprooted from the hands of my own kith and the most loved man in my life, my father. No stronger vice could have been afflicted upon me, and no more dynamic virtue could have possibly been effected by me.

One ostensibly average 7th grade day, I am driven to my father’s house, and I relax, eat some pasta, and take my daily shower. After some time this night, my father’s demons release themselves in full-flamed stride. From a typical evening to a typical night, my father begins to yell. However, this night differs from the rest. “I’m going to drop you back off at your mom’s; you’re never going to see me again.” Of course, my sister and I did not have faith in his second assertion. We got dropped off, and of course, he was wrong.

We have seen him again- at least twenty times. The first fifteen or so times- months later- consisted of my sister and I seeing our middle class father driving Corvettes, brand new SUVs, and all the luxuries with desultory, faceless women. The other five times I have seen my father has been shrouded with a cloud of thick metal bars and barbed wire fences. His great vice violently shrugged upon my shoulders- a prison term of eight years.

From here, I was a dreadfully lost child. I immersed myself with friends who were up to no good at all, diverted my attention away from school, and interred my feelings as deep as my hometown‘s water table would allow.

During the middle of 10th grade, this vice finally spun quicker than the Corvette my father bought could ever dream of doing. After ceaseless rumination I decided my current lifestyle was headed toward the perennially trodden path of complacency. I am not satisfied with complacency; in fact, I’m not even complacent with complacency. Since this time, I have come to terms with this incident. I have learned what happened during these integral events. Because of passing through this pain I have learned who I truly am. Knowing myself through this great struggle has made me ever so closer to the true me. Knowing myself under the baking sun of my father’s vice has shown me the greatest light of myself. I’ve learned I am a brilliant person whose life remains dedicated to gathering knowledge. I am a boy who loves to run, read, think and teach others. I am a growing man who breathlessly proclaims the spot I deserve in my life. I am a man who deserves the best college in the United States. I am resilient.