Can Never Forget It

June 3, 2010
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I was eight years old and in third grade. It was a Tuesday afternoon and I found out that my mom had a heart attack at work that morning. I thought, “Oh no, but my mom is strong and has been through many things so she will be fine.” My family and I visited her in the hospital that day. She was in the hospital for the rest of the week. During that week my friends at school had made cards, her co-workers brought her gifts, and she was surrounded by people she loved. That Sunday she was finally able to come home. I was happy she was finally home because I had missed her. But little did I know that this was only the beginning to a terrible journey.

It was that night, or Monday morning at exactly 4:59 on October 11th, 2004 when I woke up to my mom telling my dad to call 911. After I heard that I had started to cry because I had no idea what was going on. A little while later I heard the ambulance arrive at our house. I was really scared because nothing like this had happened to me before and I was scared for my mom. The ambulance had brought my mom downstairs in this chair thing and they put an oxygen mask on her. My dad had me get dressed and we went downstairs to make some phone calls while my mom was taken to the hospital. Then, my dad brought us to the hospital. Once we got there she had a neck brace on. I didn’t know why though. We were waiting in the hospital for so long that I was antsy. My grandma asked me if I wanted to stay there or go to school and since I thought everything was fine I went to school.

When school is over I would go to the school’s out program since both my parents worked. While I was there that afternoon I was called down to the office. When I got there I saw the faces of my dad, grandparents, principal, and teachers looking sad. I didn’t understand what was going on. My dad brought me into the nurse’s office and told me that my mom had passed away that day. It was the first and only time I have seen my dad cry and ever since nothing has been the same.

How my mom died isn’t very clear to me even today. All that I know is that in the morning she died her spine was bleeding which was why she went to the hospital. That was why she had a neck brace on when I went to see her. She had been on her way to surgery and that was when her body just gave out and she had to go.

The only thing I regret is that I never said I love you to her when I went to school that school that day and left her. I didn’t even say goodbye and that is the only thing that bothers me. Of course I am very sad and I really miss her but there is nothing I can do. But, one other thing that I hate is that I don’t remember her. I don’t remember my life when she was here. I remember little things like what she wore and what her laugh sounded like. Her death has changed my life a lot and I don’t know what it would be like now. I don’t feel very close to many of my family as I was with my mom but it has made me and my dad very close. I do not want my dad to remarry, I want him to be happy but I feel that even with new love he wouldn’t be happy. I worry about my dad. My dad and I handle my mom’s death differently. I am not certain but I am pretty sure my dad has been depressed ever since. He isn’t as happy, family gatherings make him frown, and he is simply a different person than before. But for me, I like to talk about my mom, I like discussing her with my friends, thinking about the good memories.

In conclusion, this was very hard for me to write, but I enjoyed thinking of my mom and crying over her. I miss her so much. I will never forget her or let go of the days that was in my life and all of the great memories we had.

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