I didn't mean to do it. He said he loved me, I believed him. He held me and made me feel beautiful. But isn't that just always the story? It wasn't meant to happen, it was all a mistake. I was fourteen, I have known him for 10 years now. I'm 19 today. I don't think he would have stayed if it had been his choice, when he could leave, he did. His father made him marry me, brought up by this intelligent responsible man. No this boy was not like his father, not in the slightest way. Yes, he was attractive with dark brown eyes and hair from Spanish descent. Yes I was pretty before all these things came and went. My beautiful baby boy blessed with his dark hair and my light eyes. I still lay him down to sleep at night, with questions burdening over his innocent soul, "Where did daddy go?" Over and over, I cry at night knowing neither of us will ever know. My little boy is only 5 years old. He reminds me of his dad. His dad didn't leave for another woman, no. He never would have. He loved me, I believed him. His eyes never wandered away. Money was a problem and every dime was spent. Our baby was a problem, he is autistic. I guess he couldn't handle, the things all going wrong. He took himself out of this world. I knew I had to be strong. I held my baby closer, just one year ago. We heard the gunshot blow. He went to stay with mamaw. His grandmother dear. I called the ambulance and the police, they took my one true love away. What more can I say, the day I was born, the day he left. All on May 22nd.
I didn't mean to..
May 22, 2010