Too much and never enough

May 12, 2010
“She’s upstairs in your living room! I’m looking at her. I waited for you and you promised! This is our day not your day to **** some stupid little red head to torture me.” Justine’s shadow paced around the curtains in the living room. A horrible rumble burst through my teeth. Did I just snarl at him?
“I didn’t **** her babe. I know it’s our day I just had to study.” His weight shifted. I watched his face for the change.
“Study? Really? So it’s just a coincidence that no one else is home and it’s night time? That the two of you are physically attracted to each other and once again you bailed on me to be with her?” I knew the answer to every question, he was wrong and I wasn’t backing down. Not tonight.
“There was supposed to be other people with us but they couldn’t make it!” his voice was not half the horrible shrill and pierce that mine was. His was low and evil.
“oh wow that works out nicely doesn’t it Christian?” my voice cracked on his name as I realized how often I say it in anger. He lashed back but I hardly caught what he said. My mind had drifted down to the ring on my finger. I played with the ridges and how heavy it suddenly felt. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to fight for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be the girl that everyone feels sorry for because she’s with the ***hole and deserves so much better. His hands shaking my shoulders brought me back to the present like a whip being cracked in my face.
“ Are you even listening? I have things to do we’ll talk about this later!” things or stupid little redheaded ****?
“I’m listening! I just don’t believe you. It’s our day! This is about us not her! You always put her before me and I’m tired of it!” so much better than this…
“your freaking out! Shut up and stop being jealous!” the weight of the ring carried my hand right into the side of his face. I never regretted hitting him that night although he was bound and determined to make me.
“Don’t you ever touch me again! I take it from my dad I won’t take it from you! You psycho!” hypocrite!
“So it’s ok for you to hit me for no reason but I can’t slap you when you deserve it? You know what? Here’s your ring you ***hole go give it to someone who is willing to put up with your ****!” too heavy. Too much. Owe. I can’t live without him. But I wont live like this. His face broke fell just a little. He tried to recover but failed.
“fine.” He took the ring and through it into the wet street. The street light hit the red sparkle and shot it into my eye. I watched it crack against the pavement and it felt oddly like my heart was what was just smashed on the cement. I couldn’t take it. Not this way. I ran over and picked up the ring.
“Don’t just throw it you idiot!” sometimes his stupidity shocked me.
“Well you don’t want it and what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Huh?” He huffed and stormed off.
I clutched the ring between my fingers. I hated him almost as much as I loved him

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