February 11, 2010
Dear Pre-Teen Me,

Its been a while since I actually wrote you something meaningful, I analyze things all the time and sometimes it sounds reasonable but there are many things I haven’t spoken to you about that I should. The main thing I would like to tell you is “Never, I REPEAT NEVER allow yourself to be stepped on or be everyone’s defender”. I don’t care if you think you can handle it because honestly you can’t handle everything not because you’re weak but because that’s not your job, a wise you once admitted “You Can’t Save Everyone”.

Remember when you had your first real relationship you tried so hard to make him happy and honestly you knew he was cheating on you all along so when he broke-up with you I don’t see why you seemed so surprised, well no, truthfully you knew what he was doing you just didn’t believe he would do you so wrong. I guess you figured love would prevail huh? Self even now it saddens my heart how you dealt with that, you knew running away would make things worse but still you felt as if you had to make yourself feel even more pain or as if doing something dangerous would make you feel justified and wanted. You made things way harder on yourself by getting caught up in a game that was more then you ever imagined. Telling you this makes me feel bad no one will ever understand why you did what you did I still don’t even get it.

I would also like to advise you to keep pushing you know how tough wilderness was hiking 10 miles in 2 feet of snow you wanted to quit so bad but you kept your whole patrol pushing by saying “Nothing Lasts Forever” even you didn’t want to keep going but you did and you made it. What makes you think that quitting should even be allowed for you or that its even a option you’re strong, people look up to you and if I must say so myself YOU’RE beautiful, If a person can’t see that then just keep it moving you don’t need any extra non-sense in your life. You have grown too much to let little things hold you back!
When I think of all the people who look up to you for your sense of humor and great advice why would you take that joy from those who love you so much? You have a little cousin who adores everything you do and sees no wrong in you and even she at age 10 knows all your flaws yet she loves you because you inspire her. Is that not worth moving on? You reminisce so much on your past that you don’t express your appreciation for all those who have been here for you even after all the bad things.

Self I need you to keep moving forward and appreciate those you have now, keep pushing towards whatever it is you want like turning vegetarian; your health has been a huge factor in your life for a long time and if you really want to be healthy and lose weight we’re going to need you to stop procrastinating and JUST DO IT! Don’t give yourself any reason to renege on your goals they aren’t impossible they’re quite easy all you have to do is KEEP PUSHING!

From a place of much love & concern,


Yourself