Dont rain on my parade

Collected. Calm. Content. These are the things that I am now, but I wasn’t always like this. All of life’s bumps and twists had to take place to mold me into, well, me. We will start where my life was fully great and at ease. Once I lived in Hawaii and the laid-back lifestyle and aloha spirit is something that I miss everyday of my life. I spoke pigeon, yes I am aware that it sounds funny. I wasn’t running around talking to birds; it was just the Hawaiian slang. Like ‘ay you know da kine?” Everything was simple, people were always nice and welcoming everyone was your cousin. My family did have their fair share of problems, but still the feel of island life was always calming.

My world got twisted upside down when I heard from my parents we were moving back to Tucson. I had lived in this desolate desert once until I was about 7. I didn’t remember a single things at all. Hawaii was my home its what I knew, and all I knew I didn’t want to leave my friends, school, or life that I lead. Deep down inside I knew that it would help my family if we moved so I sucked in all my anger, and went with the flow. In Tucson there was no green anywhere it was like I had just crash landed into a whole different world. Crazy enough this is where I call home now and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I learned fast that the place doesn’t matter what matters is that you have your loved ones close by.

So know that we know where I have lived. I will let you know about a main struggle of mine its been my health one too many times. I’ve been told I was going to die more than once my chances of surviving were about 80:20 at one point. That was a time when my body had went into shock, all I can remember from that day was getting back from a procedure, it was summertime before sophomore year. I had just gotten into the hospital rom and I couldn’t open my eyes I could hear the beeping of my cardiogram and doctors running in and out, slicing open bag after bag of ivy fluid. They were taking huge syringes and shooting them one after one into my arm. I had no idea what was going on until I had checked out, my parents never wanted to tell me because, they didn’t want me to worry. The scariest illness I had is still to this day unknown, and could never be explained. One day I couldn’t get out of bed I was paralyzed from the waist down. Each movement of my legs no matter how small sent a sharp stab. I would scream at the top of lungs when I felt pain. They had me on morphine and not even that could numb the pain. Amazingly one day I just got better, I did have to learn how to walk all over again which was a trip.

Not many people have had illness’ like I have and lived or even are doing the things I am today. Despite all that I have been through I still push through everyday of life. Now I am able to dance and love life. I learned fast and in the hard way that tomorrow is never guaranteed. I remember in the hospital I would stay up at night crying asking my mom why me? It was tough and I myself didn’t think I would have ever healed 100 percent like I did, but I think that all of these things happen for a reason. I learned to cherish life and the little things a lot more. Living even though the chances were slim gave me the idea that there is a greater purpose for still being here and I intend to discover it.

Another major obstacle in my life was my father’s drinking now me and him are closer and I get along with him much better than my mom most of the time. My dad really has changed for the better now and is an amazing father. But there is always a point when you realize your life is not like everyone else’s. This unfortunately for me was the best moment in mine. For me it was just another typical day my dad’s drinking had gotten out of control, and he stormed out of the house driving to another bar of course. I had a whole drill already for everything I would lock myself in my room just incase he started to get violent which he rarely did, but he had before. His drinking truly impacted my life before that night in Hawaii we got kicked out of the pro bowl every year. Embarrassment was the only emotion I felt my dad couldn’t control himself; he tried solving his problems the wrong way. Grocery stores weren’t even possible he was picking fights left and right. On this night I had that scary feeling in the pit of my stomach it wasn’t hunger no, it was that feeling you get when you know that something just isn’t right. Soon enough we get a call from the police saying that my dad had crashed the car and he was no where to be found. We got to the bar all I could see was my car was crushed in half, the brick wall knocked down. When I close my eyes I can still see that image and hear the car horn blaring through the whole alley. I couldn’t help it my cheeks got hot red and tears came pouring out of my eyes. Piercing my skin and they ran down my face hitting down onto my leg’s and shirt. Then my dad came from behind the car in handcuffs and my mom was stupid enough to take him back. We got back to my nanas house; we were living with her at the time. The door was locked and we were all worried so we busted inside only to find he had take over 50 pills. They were all over the floor he was just yelling. We called the ambulance that soon came and wheeled him away. It is an image that no matter how hard I try will never ever leave my memory.

The entire time my dad was in the hospital not once did I call or see him. My mom, sister, and I got a new apartment with my tio poncho. I think that at that point it hit my dad that he was at risk of losing everything in a flash. Sadly when people hit rock bottom is usually when they decide to change, and most times it’s too late. My dad turned around and quit drinking now it is something of the past and we are able to have a nice and stable family. This whole hardship taught me that never giving up can lead to good things in the future. Giving out too many chances isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I even learned that as a person I was strong to this day my Tio tells me that most kids who have gone through what I have, well would be runaways. Or even worse may have committed suicide honestly running away struck my mind a few times, but I knew that I had to stick through it and learn from all of the bad and im glad I did and am now succeeding in life and making someone out of myself. Having the background that I have has made me that much more thankful, for what I have today.





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