Welcome to My Life.

February 14, 2010
Welcome to my Life.
I was born in march on the 23rd. Everything went fine. And everything stayed fine. 2 years later my little brother was born, and he was born in march. But where my birth was the nicest day in march in a long time, my brothers birth was the worst snow storm in march in a long time. When I turned 5 I remember thinking to myself ‘wow my life is perfect’. I jinxed it.

2 years later when I was 7 years old my entire life fell apart. My Mawmaw was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went to Chemo often and lost her hair. My Grandma Rosemary always had diabetes and heart problems. They started getting worse. Then My Pawpaw started complaining about certain pain, and weakness, so we took him to the doctors. The doctors took him to the hospital and found that he had Anal Cancer, which luckily is completely curable. Unluckily, we didn’t notice his cancer signs because of his wife (Mawmaw) and her cancer. So his cancer had already spread through most of his body and there was nothing we could do. He was given an amount of time to live, I don’t remember because I was so young.

In February my Grandma Rosemary was put in the hospital, which was normal for us because she was there all the time. Only some things were different this time. Instead of saying bye to my mom and dad I cried and pleaded to go with them to the hospital to see my Grandma rosemary- something I’ve never done before. They wouldn’t let me go because it was just a typical visit. It wasn’t she went to the hospital that night and was pronounced dead the next morning.

I went to her funeral, but I don’t really remember any of it and I thank god for that.

A month later on March 27th I went to sleep. I had a dream. I was in a normal dream and then it all went black, suddenly I was in a field of flowers and there were two things glowing in the distance. One was the sun, but I couldn’t make out what the other one was. So I walked closer and it did the same only floating. When I was close enough to see it, it was an angel, but it was more like a glowing orb of light loosely shaped like an angel.
She said “ He’s gone.”
“Who’s gone?” I asked.
“He’s Gone.” she repeated.
“Who? Who’s gone?” I started to feel urgent.
“He’s gone. You know who.”

Instantly she disappeared and it all went black through my dream I heard two names echoed at the same time, both pointing to the same person. It echoed Denis and Pawpaw. I sat up with a start and practically jumped down the ladder from my bunk bed, and ran into my parents room. I opened the door and they woke up and looked at me and I screamed “Oh my God, oh my God!” and then I fell asleep.

5 minutes later my Mawmaw called my mom telling her to come over because my pawpaw had died. It was the middle of the night and pawpaw died in his favorite chair at the kitchen table. My Mawmaw watched him get up and go talk to someone at the window telling them he didn’t want to go and that he couldn’t leave right now. Then he said okay. He sat down and grabbed a towel and put it down because he knew when he died he would drool. My dad went over and moved him to his hospice bed and called the hospice nurse. Then my mom brought me over because I demanded to see him one more time.

I attended his visitation and funeral. At the visitation I drew him a picture and put it in his cold hands. I’ll always remember how he looked lying there and how cold his hands were. I cried a lot. At the funeral I got in and 1 minute in to the closing the casket thing I started crying so hard I almost vomited. The nice lady that ran the funeral home took me and my brother into the back and calmed me down. She then let us play mine sweep, which helped. When it was time to bury him my best friend Ally and her parents picked us up and took us to their house so we didn’t have to watch.

My parents got divorced shortly after. Things went horrible through the divorce because my parents got back together and split up and got back together and split up again. When I was around 9 my mom found her 1st boyfriend and my dad had already had bunches of girlfriends. When I was 10 my mom and her boyfriend had a kid and he is my littlest brother and I love him very much. When I was 12 my moms boyfriend cheated on her and they broke up. My dad went through a million more girlfriends.

14 months later My mom found a new guy and my dad hadn’t dated in the last 14 months. Those 14 months with my parents separated and alone were the happiest time for me, and they were happy too. But happiness in my life doesn’t last.

My mom’s new boyfriend was and still is wonderfully great but the first year I made it tough on him, I wanted to make sure he’d stick around and I didn’t like that he stole my mom. So I was evil to him. He has 3 kids and I hated some on and off but we finally got along I was still the loldest because they were all 3,4, and 5 years younger than me. About a year later when I was 14 my dad got a new girlfriend. She as and still is a ditzy girl who is 30 but acts 13 and is a total idiot. She had 3 kids ages 3, 5, and 6. I didn’t like any of them, I still don’t. So I left my dads house about 6 months after she moved in. 6 months after that we had a huge fight and my mom got custody over me. Also at 15 my cousin who I barely got to know was 17, got into a car crash and passed away. The mental image of his body in a casket is stuck in my mind forever and even though I never got to see him I miss him like crazy.

This year I am turning 16 and my mom has been with her boyfriend for 3 years and I get along with the two girls perfectly and I’m working on my relationship with the boy. I have 5 siblings and I live at my moms house full time. I’ve been through a lot, I still don’t live with my dad and we barely talk. This summer I get to be an ambassador and go to Europe. Life’s been pretty good this year I just hope it stays that way, but everything that’s happened to me has made me wiser.

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magic-esi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm
It's good that you're trying to have a better life now. Sometimes writing about memories you hate makes you get over them. It works for me.
Also, the article is very nicely written. Nice job!
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