My mind is quiet as of lately. Its not that there is a lack of thoughtful traffic or that at random moments horns of ideas don’t sound off , its more like a mute button was hit, and even though I no there is sound its inaudible to my ears. In the back of this quiet chaos there is an ever present force, one that seems to be tugging at the sides of my subconscious mind while seeming to stay firmly present in the conscious quadrant as well. It’s this unexplainable natural force that I can’t seem to push away, and the sad thing is im so desperately tying to push it away …because it makes me happy. For its in the hours that the this paranormal phenomena is in the front part of my brain that I don’t think about the tipped over cars on the side of the street or of the multiple paramedics trying to patch of the portion of my brain called “stress” or of the countless number of casualties that have so brutally been kicked out of my heart for tearing up the insides. This “ghost” who’s very presences is my panacea has frightened away my guards and sent my warriors packing for home. Perhaps you ask yourself now if this is a bad thing... when it makes you happy, and the answer to this question is I don’t know. Its like having been stripped of your clothes and being forced to stand un protected against the comments of others or the harsh weather, and what if you don’t mind the spectators and the weather is always at a perfect 87 degrees… do you stay comfortable in your own skin or would you seek your clothes for fear of a cold ice storm flooding in and of negative compliments to your body? My subconscious mind has been trying to tell me the answer to this dilemma however, and as pathetic as it maybe it scares me to trust the hidden thoughts of my mind, that tell me the loss of my guards with this particular super natural force isn’t that bad.
im scared of unexplainable things
February 6, 2010