Reality Check

January 20, 2010
By Anonymous

I have a story to tell. It is a story of addiction and of irresponsibility. Addiction born of hanging with the wrong people and making bad decisions. It is a story that tore our family apart or just made us stronger. And it is a story of how the claims of addiction stopped. If indeed they ever did end.

Piling out of lunch we were teenagers, laughing and screaming yet reluctantly walking to seventh period class. With me in the middle sluggishly walking to English, room 203, Mrs. Tomich. I over heard a conversation, which seemed to be pretty juicy. Recalling the two words that seemed to sound like cop car. I didn’t care much for the story, so I hurried to class for I was going to be late. I turned the corner and as always, Mrs. Tomich was awaiting the arrival of her students. It turned out she was really waiting for the arrival of me.

She told me I was asked to the front office. I thought nothing of it, maybe my mother called me or I just needed to pick something up. Instead, both my parents were there waiting for my appearance in the principals office. I froze; I got scared, I thought I was in trouble. Was there anything possible that I had done recently which could get both my parents into the principal’s office? I thought.

The first words that I said were “What did I do?” And all my father said was “You didn’t do anything your brother did.” My mother ended the sentence by telling me that my brother had been arrested for the possession of marijuana and was taken away in a cop car. I froze, devastated and ashamed. My parents asked if I wanted to go home. I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to do, but I did know that I wanted my parents to think that I was going to be fine and not to worry about me. So I left, and went back to class.

The day went on but inside me I felt as though a huge 100-pound weight was balancing on my head. I felt like I needed to go home and reassure my parents that everything were to be okay. But you see I didn’t know what people would think of my family and me. Thoughts of certain people’s opinions came into my mind and I hated the feeling I had. It was indescribable. It was a mix between dread and sorrow. That night I decided not to go home for I could not look my brother in the face.

The next morning I woke up still cold, tired, and confused. I didn’t know what to expect when I got home. When I arrived it was quiet, real quiet. But one thing that did changed was that my brother’s belongings were put back in his old room. He had lost his privileges down stairs. This made me cry and all I did was walk into my room and keep to myself.

Night came and there was still cold bitter silence. A couple of days went by and to this day I have never had a discussion with my brother as to why he did what he did. But I have spoken to my parents. They explained what had occurred and what changes were going to become of this but they weren’t necessarily deep discussions. I wanted them quick and easy and that’s what I got. I never wanted to talk about it in depth and to this day I still will not talk about it, I would rather resolve it myself either going for a run or just writing my feelings on paper.

I feel this way because everyone looks down at my brother for this, as do I, but I believe in him and I look at this situation as a life lesson. My relatives make comments and they’re hurtful to my family and me. I wish to not hear these comments but it always seems to come to my ears. People who have asked to talk about this are asking a lot from me and most people realize I am not interested in the conversation. They don’t believe in my opinions of what I think and they never will for I do not see a point in trying to argue.

Dealing with these numerous changes has made me a stronger person. I learned that drug abuse can do a lot to a person and you are very lucky and fortunate if you have the options to stop and get help. But you are completely foolish if you abuse your help and continue these thoughtless acts. I have also learned a lot about my family and especially my brother. The most positive thing that has come of this is bringing my brother and me closer in ways of him growing up and facing real life problems called a simple word reality.

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