I Learned to Forgive

January 11, 2010
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Silently, I gaped out the window covered in droplets of the previous rain, pondering why? Why did they do this to me? Was it seriously because I’m cheerleader? Or was there something else. I never knew why they ditched me, and yet it has been 3 years since it happened, since I lost my good friends. But over that course of time I made new friends, friends who I know won’t do away with me like a worthless piece of trash.

It was Courtney’s birthday party, and we were going to a concert for her birthday. We were all at her house getting ready when I told everyone I had made the cheer squad. Glares were all I could see and it was petrifying. I felt as if I was frozen and time and that was how it was going to be forever, glares haunting me. We were on our way to our concert and I thought they had just about forgotten about the incident earlier. When we arrived at the concert, which looked like a huge sea of people. And I must admit, we had a blast at the concert! But the memory of the glares never left my mind for quite sometime. When we arrived back home we ordered pizza and were just talking about what’s new. Off guard, Maddy brought up the discussion of what everyone though of me making cheerleader. “WOW! Your so stupid, you want to be a snobby, rude cheerleader?” So you think you are so much better than us?” “Yeah Emma, what’s your problem?” Problem. I have a problem? What is my problem? My problem was that they were making me choose between cheer and friends. Well at least whom I thought were my friends.
In the spring of my 7th grade year at FBA, I began preparing for cheer tryouts. I was so nervous and really needed the support of my friends. Well unfortunately I did not receive any, I got the opposite, criticism. They ridiculed me for wanting to be cheerleader! I had recently quitted ballet cause I had been doing it since I was one year old! I was sick of it and cheer was the next closest thing. They thought I should just do volleyball like them. Um no! First off, I was too short. Second, I hated the coach, and you would to if you had ever met him. Lastly, I did not have a passion for it. I wanted to cheer, and I was going to do it, with or without their support. They told I was going to have to do alone and without them. Well, I found out I was strong enough without them because I made the cheer squad.
Back to the night of the concert. They chewed me up like a dog with a steak. I was ripped into shreds. Crying, it was painful the rest of night until my mom picked me up the next morning and I was able to escape from them. That’s why I hate sleepovers, and rarely go to or have any. Crushed, I could not believe how ruthless my friends were. How could they do this to just one person? Was it possible that one could take all of this pain and suffering?
For a while, I had no friends. I had friends, but not friends I would hang out with on the weekends. I saw everyone go home with each other Friday afterschool to go to the movies, parties, and sleepovers. I had no one. I had to go home with my mom and just mope around doing nothing. I felt like I would never have friends again. My heart was miserable and so was my life. I had no emotion because what was there to feel? I had nothing exciting going on in my life. I just kept waiting and waiting for my life to change.
As my seventh grade year came to an end, I became close friends with my best friend from kindergarten, Miranda. I began to join a new group of friends and got to know everyone much better than I had before. And before I knew it, I had a boyfriend. Now he was not my first, but he was my first one from my school. Parker was a super sweet guy and was so much fun to be around. I felt bubbly and constantly happy, and I was! I thought he was the best boyfriend and I could not see us breaking up ever. But unfortunately things do not last forever.
During football season, Parker and I broke up. Why? Maybe because I thought I would never have to deal with my old friends again. They just felt the need to screw up my life one last time. And mission accomplished. Parker and I split. Now what exactly did they do? Well Maddy had always had a thing for Parker. Anyways, they told they got a group together to go to the mall and that I was part of it. Well instead they took him to a baseball game. And it was the of my dance competition that he was supposed to come to. It was one of the most painful split I’ve had to go through because I had the best time ever with him, and it bugged me the most because it was because of my old friends. I actually let them get to me! Ugh! I could not believe myself! We both really liked each other, but I let THEM get in the way. But now I’m okay, because Parker and I are really close friends now and it is not awkward between us at all.
Soon after the breakup, I joined a different group of friends. Now this group of friends was the best because we were all Christians, went to the same church, hung out on the weekends, and had “study” parties(but half of the time we just played around). Now who was in this group? Maddie (who now goes to Kinkaid, but the rest go to HCHS), Chambers, Rachel, Stephen, Michael, Brooke, and me. I have known Maddie, Rachel, Chambers, and Stephen since Kindergarten. We were close friends then and still are to this very day! We still hang out, not as much as we used to though, but I loved my friends and am so happy we are still all really great friends.
After eighth grade was over, my friends and I went on to high school! High school is amazing because I have so may new friends that its impossible for my friends to ditch me because that would require almost everyone in the freshmen class! I think my life is so much better than it has ever been! I’m happy, lighthearted, gleeful, cheery, merry, joyful, delighted, and excited for everyday, because everyday brings a new adventure. My life gauge went from empty to full! The greatest things come after the worst. Life is a stock market. Once it goes down, it shoots back up! It just comes to show you should never give up. I live my life now by my favorite, “Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened” – Dr.Seuss. So now, I can look back on all those memories I had with my old friends who ditched me and can smile, whether they still hate me or not, I forgive them and will care about them because nothing can go wrong with loving your enemies because that’s was Jesus does.





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