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Confidence

By , Tulsa, OK
The back story- a week and a half ago-ish I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw some things on Facebook that strongly implied he was dating another girl. I confronted him, and then I broke-up with him.

Anyways…Tonight when I was supposed to be doing my World History assignment I got to thinking about a conversation I had with my friends this morning, and how a couple weeks ago, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did, because I wouldn’t have had the confidence to say anything. That confidence I gained from the break-up.

A guy who I’m sort of friends with was saying he’s a Buddhist now, even though a few weeks ago he said he was an Atheist. A couple of my close friends were saying he wasn’t really a Buddhist, and that he wouldn’t stick with it. I actually jumped in the conversation and defended him. I said something like, “What does it matter if he sticks with? A person’s religion can change.” I said some other things too, but the point is a week and a half ago my friends didn’t know that I don’t fit into their perfect little Christian world either.

Last week I told my best friends that I am a Unitarian Universalist (basically it’s an inclusive religion that is involved with social action and doesn’t conform to one belief). The reason this is such a big deal is that a lot of my friends are very Christian and I was scared of what they would think. Turns out they are pretty cool with it.

The thing is I don’t think I would have had the confidence to do that if I hadn’t broken-up with my boyfriend a week and a half ago-ish. Breaking up with him, as hard and not what I wanted to do as it was, made me feel like I can overcome anything. Going to a new church for the first time, and sitting in a room full of mostly strangers a last week should have been scary too, and it was, but I felt like I could do it. Now I have a church family.

Basically I’ve learned a lot from this break-up, and not just about how much break-ups stink. Sure I’ve learned about how I feel as time passes, and sure I learned that I have really great friends who give really good advice, and listen well. But I’ve also learned that I have the power to do anything. I can get though anything. I can do really hard homework even when I’m feeling upset beyond belief. As one of my favorite authors, Nina Malkin, said about break-ups “You are strong. You're about to find out how strong!” I really love and agree with that quote, it pretty much sums up what I realized this last week and a half-ish.





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