So Shallow but So Very So Deep

September 27, 2009
By , Wichita, KS
I have lived here since I was born. Wichita. Boring old Kansas. Wichita is big but in the portion I live in, it's tiny. Nothing more then a creek and a park. A beat-up tagged park. I don't live in a good neighborhood so I am worried in the mornings when I have to make the terrifying walk to the corner. I have been there when the ice storm hit and a tree fell across the street. We called it 'Woody'. We climbed it forever, then the city took it away. I was here when BTK was here. I was here when a car chase led right through my street and was stopped in front of my house. I was here when a man broke into my home and hurt my dog and stole my Xbox. Although I was furious that I never got my bat back from the police. I was here when everything in my life happened.
When I went to middle school on my first day. Sixth grade orientation. My mom put me on the wrong bus but the bus driver was nice and sent me back to my happy little school. That year I was suspended when my friends and I got in an email fight that got out of hand. It was in the summer when I felt the pang of death. I was in eight grade when I broke someone's heart. I am still there wondering why I am writing all of this. I felt a need to write an outline of my life out, so everyone will know my complicated life.
I was there in elementary school when I lost friends and gained them. In fourth my whole persona changed, no longer 'Cry Baby' but now Kitti the girl who stands up for herself. The one who doesn't cry. Not in front of people. I was there when I was suspended for reasons I will not state. I was there when I had to say good bye to one life and go on to the next.
Who am I now? I am the one who is sad and timid. Strong and bold. Tearful and smiling. The one who is close to crying all the time. A smile to protect those I love, to make them believe I am not sorrowful but happy. I am a heart-breaker and a dreamer. Shallow and so all so deep.
Shallow if you don't know me. Just dig deep and find the clues, I am as deep as the ocean blue.

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