My Mother's Life | Teen Ink

My Mother's Life

May 30, 2014
By Anonymous

I interviewed my mother, Beata Jolanta. Beata was born on July 2, 1968 in Szczurowie, Poland. Beata is the oldest of three children. Beata has one younger sister, Magda, and one younger brother, Marek. Beata is very close with her siblings, and calls them at least once a week. Her sister, Magda, is a great person to tell all her problems too. Her brother, Marek, always cares about her and doesn’t want her to get hurt. Even though he is her younger brother, Marek acts like an older brother and protects her in every way possible, even if he lives in Poland. Beata had a fun childhood and would never change it. This is her story:

(Note: This interview has been translated from Polish to English.)

When I was a child, I really liked school. I thought school was very easy, but there were times it was really hard for me. I was a very loud child, and I loved talking and being with my friends. I had to walk to school every single day. Walking to school took about 20 minutes, but I didn’t mind walking. I really liked walking to school because I always walked with friends who lived close by. In the winter time, it took a little longer to walk to school because of the snow, but it was fine for me, it didn’t really matter. I loved walking because it was a great way to spend time with my friends and I loved it.

My childhood is very different than kids’ childhoods today. I actually loved my childhood and would never change it. I had a lot of toys because I was my parent’s first child, and they wanted me to be happy. I was a very happy child, and most of the time I was smiling and laughing. My parents did anything to make me happy and I really appreciate that. During my childhood, there were no cellphones or computers, and personally I think it was way better. Also, because we didn’t have computers, I was really close with everyone close by. I think I had a great childhood, because I got to know everyone really well, and I try to talk to my friends in Poland as much as I can.

I decided to come to Chicago in January of 1992. I decided to come to Chicago, Illinois because I was curious of how America really was. I also came to Chicago because I wanted to live with my father. At that time, my father lived in a small apartment. America was different than I thought it will be. I thought it was going to be way easier to live life here in America, but I was wrong. I actually had to do work to keep a roof over my head. I didn’t want my dad to pay all the rent; I wanted to help him because I was living in that apartment too. My first job was at a small lamp factory. It was a hard job and it was also a very boring job. It also was a very low pay. At least I had a friend to talk to. I got really close to her and we worked together. In a short time I liked it and stayed here. I came to America alone, which was scary and I didn’t know what to expect. I came to Illinois to live with my father, who was there at the time. I really missed my father and I wanted to see how he was living here. I traveled here from Poland by plane. It takes about 10 hours to fly here from Poland. I really don’t like traveling by plane, so it was horrible for me, because I have motion sickness. Especially, this was my first time on a plane alone, so I was afraid to start my new like solo.

I was 21 years old when I came to America. I really wanted to come to Illinois because of my father. I really loved my dad, and I wanted to see him. I was very close with him, and when I was still in Poland, I kept thinking about him and wishing he was with me. So this is why I decided to come. Surprisingly, my mother let me go to America without a problem. She was fine with me going because she knew I really wanted to see my dad. She was sad, but she knew I still loved her. I really like how my mom understood me. I knew when I will leave, I will miss my mom and my siblings, but I was planning on coming back. I didn’t expect to stay here because I thought I wasn’t going to stay. I didn’t expect to find close friends, but I did. I am really happy I stayed. I also stayed because I started talking with your father. Your father actually lived on the same block as me, and that is how I met him. We started talking a lot and we got really close. I met your father two years after I came to America, in 1994.

At first, I didn’t like it here, in America. Everything was so different than it was in Poland. But, I had to like it because I wanted to make my father happy. Everything was different. The people, the stores, and everything were different. I started a different and new life. Although I didn’t like it at first, I got used to it and I love it now. Obviously the main thing that was different for me was the language. It was very hard for me to learn the English language. I do know to speak English a little, but I rather speak in Polish. I speak in Polish most of the time. Only when I really need to I will speak in English. Most of my friends speak Polish, so that is my go to language to speak.

There were many new things that I liked and didn’t like in my new life. I like that you could go out to a store and buy everything you want and need. During that time in Poland, it was hard to get certain necessities. So, we had to live without important necessities we needed for everyday use. I didn’t like how there are so many people. I didn’t get used to all of these people because in Poland I lived in a small neighborhood, and everyone was so close to each other. Here, in Illinois there are so many people so I didn’t know anyone. Also, it was hard to communicate with others because I didn’t know the English language at all when I first arrived in Chicago, Illinois. But, my father lived next to a Polish family, and I became friends with a girl my age, and we got really close. I also had a lot of fears when I arrived in America. I was scared about driving in cars. There were way more cars in Chicago than in Poland. I was scared I was going to get hit by a car because some of these people were just driving like crazy. I saw this one person that was driving and doing their makeup. I felt really unsafe at first, but then I got used to all of these crazy people and the driving.

It was very hard to get a visa. A visa is an authorization to cross the border. The people working at the place didn’t want to let everyone leave to America. It was a very long process and very time consuming. I really hated that part and didn’t understand why I couldn’t get one really quickly. That was the hard part. Getting a visa probably took about 2 months and it was very likely that I didn’t get one. But, when I got the letter that I did get the visa, I was so happy and ready to leave to America. When I arrived to America, it was very easy to get a passport. I just had to go to the office and show them my documents. Getting a passport was very easy, not hard at all.

I actually felt very sad in the beginning. I really missed my family and my friends. I honestly wanted to go back to Poland when I got here, because I didn’t feel comfortable in America, but eventually I fell in love with it and I decided to stay. My family was very sad I wasn’t coming back, but they understood me. On the other hand, my friends were mad at me. My friends didn’t want me to leave. At first, when I called them from Chicago, they didn’t answer their phones. But after a few tries, they answered and realized that I was happy here and they are not going to make me change my mind. I appreciated my friends because they thought things through and didn’t want me to be unhappy.
The food and the culture were very different in America than in Poland. I liked some of the food, and hated others. I liked the food that was similar to the European food because that is the food I grew up with. Even though I liked the European food, I got used to the American foods and I like it now. I would choose European food over American though, because I like those flavors better. There are some American foods that I love. Some American foods that I love are cheeseburgers and hot dogs. I think the American culture is a lot different than the culture I grew up with. I think that the people here are very different than in Poland. In Poland, I knew basically everyone because I lived in a really small neighborhood. I knew everyone in Poland so I said hi to everyone there. Because I lived in a very small neighborhood, I knew almost everyone who lived close by. Here, in Chicago, random strangers came up to me and started talking to me. I found that very weird at first, but I had to get used to it. Honestly, I didn’t really like talking to these people because I never met them before and I just didn’t know what to say to them.

I get asked a lot if I would move back to Poland. The answer to that question is yes, I would move back to Poland. I love Poland, especially where my family lives. It’s such a relaxing and calm neighborhood, and I love everyone who lives there. There is not a lot of drama there and I can trust more people in Poland than I can here. I LOVE going to Poland. I love seeing my mom, sister, and my brother, and his family. We are actually going to Poland this summer and I cannot wait to be there. I can’t wait to see my family, as well as my friends. Going to Poland is always a good time, and I am way too excited to go to Poland. I would love to go every year, but I can’t because of work, but I am excited to be in my real home again. I haven’t visited Poland in 5 years.

Beata Jolanta now lives with her husband, Franciszek, and her two children, Natalia and Mateusz. Beata loves Poland and wants to go back and live there. She loves her life now and wouldn’t change it. She loves everyone she meets. Beata is a very lovable person and loves meeting new people.


The author's comments:
This is an oral history.

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