Interview with Myself

April 5, 2011
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The following is an interview with myself. Don't worry, I'm only half selfish.

Q: If curiosity killed the cat, what killed the mouse?
A: Loneliness.

Q: Care to explain?
A: The mouse didn't have anybody to run from or to, he was helpless, alone.

Q: That's kind of sad.
A: Well, cat and mouse chases are sad.

Q: Moving on. How do you feel about, correct me if I'm wrong with any pronunciation here, this thing called life?
A: Well, it's not too familiar with me quite yet.

Q: Me neither.
A: In fact, I don't really know what it is. It's pulp, dark matter. I can shape it anyway I'd like.

Q: That sounds empowering.
A: It's more scary than empowering.

Q: Why's that?
A: Because power is scary.

Q: Ah ha! Then why do people seek things that scare them?
A: Let me answer your question with a question. Why do roller coasters exist?

Q: Well, they go fast, go up and down, and sometimes even have loops.
A: Sure.

Q: They're fun.
A: Well, power is fun.

Q: Agree to agree?
A: Sounds like a deal.

Q: You like movies, don't you?
A: Yes. I am a victim of the screen.

Q: What do you mean by that?
A: I mean, when I watch a movie, I no longer exist. I die so the movie can live.

Q: Like the cat and the mouse?
A: Exactly, young warrior.

Q: What is your idea of a perfect movie? Describe it, please.
A: A perfect movie falls into just about every genre that exists. It explores all aspects of life, and most importantly, takes you with it.

Q: Another ah ha moment. Your idea of a perfect movie is similar to a roller coaster, identical to life.
A: Yes, except here's the difference. In a movie, you are forced to sit in the front seat of the roller coaster without your seat belt on, screaming and holding on for dear life. In life, you can sit in the way back with your seat belt on and hands on your lap, you can be passive. You don't have to be in the action.

Q: Well then, in life, which seat do you prefer?
A: The front.

Q: Why is that?
A: Because the ride, as we hinted at before, is much too short to sit in the back seat.

Q: You want to live your life like you're in a movie, huh?
A: What other way is there to live?

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