The Voice of Depression Speaks Out | Teen Ink

The Voice of Depression Speaks Out

October 13, 2009
By Anonymous

My parents have been fumbling with depression for over 6 years now. It’s the strain of bills, mortgage payments, children, loss of jobs and hours, and the necessities of everyday life. I chose them because they are my heroes, and not often do you see them expressing the long-term effects depression has on them. I didn’t know until late last year we were struggling. I would catch a glimpse of my mom’s outgoing personality to sometimes be overthrown by the black hole of depression. Seeing her so upset, broke my heart and made me realize, the frivolous materials of the world today are overwhelming, and what may seem like a bright idea in the beginning will be burnt out at the end.
My parents dug the hole they are in now because they were never trained to budget, or save; they are deep in credit card dept and dept because of refinancing. My mom is miserable because of her lack of work and my father states that “Money is the root of evil,” there is too much competition and lack of opportunity for his business. Symptoms for the depression shown by my parents consist of; eating too much, mad at everything, a lot of crying, bad habits, and being put on medication. Neither of them wants to get out of bed in the morning to face the day. When asked what keeps them going every day, with the deep look of love in their eyes, both parents agreed that it was indeed “our children and our faith in God.”

Not a whole pile of people are having an easy time finding jobs, keeping jobs, or paying for bills right now. We are fortunate enough that we are border line middle class right now. When curious about how they felt on borrowing money, they answered me, with an ashamed look on their faces saying, “It is absolutely painful, having to borrow money from loved ones, it attacks your pride and tears you apart,” my dad believes, “I work for everything we have, we have to earn our own way in this world.” Even though both my parents work from sunrise to sunset, money is still an issue. I asked my parents if depression affected the ones around them and how it made them feel. My mom said she believed it affected us and she feels terrible, dad said he knows it affects us, “saying no to my children for things hurts, and I want you to have everything I could never have.”

The past in is the past, but back when my parents where children, you could buy a gallon of gas for a dollar, what can you buy now that costs you a dollar? Not even gum! I then asked them, if they could go back and change the decisions they made as a young adult, would they? They both agreed that they would, my mom said she would make changes in the choices she made in “jobs, marriages, high school and in money.” Dad said “I wished I would have just stayed in school.” Another thing that helps my parents to keep their heads high in a situation like this, is the fact that somewhere out there, there is a person in a worst situation than them, “we are always giving to people less fortunate than us”, says mom.

One thing I hope I get from them when I am older and out on my own is, I hope to be as strong as them, to work and try as hard as them and to never give up and to have faith in God, no matter how downhill things are going. My parents are doing everything they can to earn extra money, my mom has been taking jobs worth half of what she is normally paid, and my dad is mowing lawns with me and doing some house maintenance work for families in the neighborhood. We also try and cook every night instead of eating out; also we turn the air and the fans off in the house to save on electric. Even though what my family has may not seem like a lot, my parents are thankful for what we do have, which is a loving family, and healthy kids, and that’s all they could ask for. My mom and dad are doing everything they can to steer my in the right direction for my future so I don’t end up borrowing money or digging a hole I can’t escape from in the end, I’m actually going to college. Both parents agree, “we don’t want you living with us when your 30.”


The author's comments:
My parents are strong and they tend not to show feelings easily. They work so hard and never ever give up...

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This article has 3 comments.


AuntSteph said...
on Dec. 14 2009 at 5:41 pm
Bravo! I'm proud of you for recognizing the problems your parents face and how much they love you. You are an exceptional young woman! Love you!

Oma #3 said...
on Dec. 14 2009 at 5:26 pm
Very mature comments. Do not worry about material things. Go for the education which includes doing your best and learning how to deal with the public in whatever job you have earning your way through college. The quote is from the Bible: The root of all evil is the LOVE OF MONEY...meaning you only do things because they earn your money. Ask God what he wants you to do and He will send the Advocate to nudge you in the right direction: career choice, husband, and where you will fulfill His purpose in your life whether you have plenty of money or not...keep writing.

sbaily2 said...
on Dec. 5 2009 at 4:12 pm
My beautiful daughter, I love her so!