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Personal Legend

By , New Britain, CT

There’s always that ideal image of a boy and a girl in a relationship who are happily together for years. I never thought I’d fall under that category. There’s the whole “look at both of you so happy! I wish I was like that” or the “you guys are so cute! I wish you two the best” comments that you hear on the daily. That’s us: Jordan and I are now going on 11 months, almost a year. It’s such an amazing feeling, knowing that you have your best friend by your side to be there for you at all times. I wouldn't know what to do without him, he’s my support system in one. For 11 months and 4 days, he’s never stopped to make me happy. I constantly hear about the relationships in school and their drama. For example, in one relationship, the boyfriend cheated on the girlfriend with her best friend. How? I invested so much trust in my relationship, Jordan has never let me down. I mean, yes we have had some small arguments but never have we had an argument on something big as cheating or lying to me. Does that really make us different? I mean, people look into my relationship as a fake because we don’t go around telling others when or what we argue about or ever put our relationship to the public. Plus, I don't even involve my friends in our business because all that does is change their image on my boyfriend and that will only make them dislike him and not want me to be with him because of our disagreements.

I believe that you shouldn’t have to be with your boyfriend/another partner. You should be able to let them keep all their friendships; I trust Jordan so much, I didn’t need to tell him to drop a friend since I trust that he won’t do me wrong. It's a Friday night and for 3 Fridays in a row we have hung out at home and do homework, watched movies, and went out to dinner, so I decided to let him go out with his friends. I never really pay mind to what time the movie starts; I just ask what movie he’s watching, when it’s finished, and for him to text me to let me know he’s made it home safely, regardless if I’m sleeping. As I just put my laptop and homework away, my best friends texted me. “Girl, I see Jordan at Bowtie!” I replied saying, “I know, I let him have a night out with his friends, like a boys night out.” “Except he’s holding a girl's hand.”

As I said before, Jordan never gave me a reason to not believe him. However, I’ve had the past where my past friends tried to break my relationships up, and I wasn't going to let it happen again. In a relationship, you learn to take your partner’s word over anybody else's. I go onto snap and repeatedly see him and his friends taking videos and pictures together. So without a second guess, I reply to my girls, “Guys, I don’t have the time to play around. Cut it out, It looks like he’s having a fun time on snap chat so I’m just going to head to bed.”In less than 5 seconds, an image is downloading in my group chat called “girlies”. I think to myself and question if the downloading image is on a different subject or if they’re still on Jordan and who’s he’s with. As the picture successfully downloads to my phone, an image of a boy and a girl are holding hands. It’s Jordan. I know by the fade and the navy blue jacket that he’s wearing. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I decided not to respond because it’s not really their business to know if I’m mad or worried about him. I turned on Netflix and waited until I got that “I’m home safe baby” message. I ended up staying up for 2 more hours when my phone began to ring; it was him. I do the everyday routine of video chatting him, but when he finished describing his movie, I brought up the rumor that came to my attention. I rarely question things because most of the time it’s just those “hey, your boyfriend was with this girl” type of rumors that only want your relationship to end in a break up; but I questioned him anyway. “Who were you with? You know I trust you more than anybody, just prove my friends wrong. Tell me it was just a boys night.” But all he continued to do was change the subject, that’s what got under my skin.

After repeatedly asking him the same questions over and over again, the truth eventually came out. He was a great boyfriend, don’t get me wrong, but I never thought that’d he’d do me wrong in any matter. I asked to see him in person after a long two straight days of going back and forth, yelling and arguing. “I think it’s time to discuss our relationship in further detail for the future,” I said. He seemed a little confused but he knows exactly what I meant by that. It got quiet, he didn’t want to respond. “Whether you admit it or not, we need to talk about it. Can we meet up tomorrow after the first period?” He agreed and just like that, we came face to face with our relationship. This was it, the time to say goodbye to everything we have built together. Life became a lot harder when he left. Breaking up with your best friend is like ripping half your heart out and they take it with them, but my mom said it’s best to let people know that you don't take anything that you don’t deserve. She likes to say “remember, your self-worth is more important than looking dumb over a small lie that could’ve been bigger.” I guess she’s right, I mean, I would’ve been falling under the category where the girls let their boyfriends cheat and lie to them constantly. Plus, that gives you a bad reputation, it makes you look desperate to stay with that boy who’s very immature.

My mom always told me “keep your head up, it’s okay to be sad but never let sadness break down your strength.” In the middle of our conversation, my mom unattached her necklace, she hasn’t taken that off since the day she got it, July 24, 1999. “In this family, the women never let boys/men bring them down. When you’re feeling down, go to a place where you’re by yourself, and talk to the cross.” I put it around my neck and I instantly felt like something was telling me that everything was going to be okay.

A breakup is like sitting in a dark room by yourself; you’re just staring into a blank space, by yourself, trying to figure everything out. What am I supposed to do? I haven’t been single and by myself for about a year. It’s different now. I don’t wake up or go to bed with the same person texting me good morning/good night anymore. This is hard, how much can a girl take?

My friends are my support system. There were some nights where I cried myself to sleep because of how disappointed I was with myself but my friends were always there to check up on me. It seems to be that regardless if Jordan was around or not, they never seemed to put their opinions before my situation. Without my friends, I’d honestly be lost on what I should do with this problem. My friends and I discussed several times that I did not deserve what he did and that I should do better. By the help of them, I came to a reasonable decision of leaving Jordan.

When I cut all ends with Jordan, I expected him to be okay with what was going on because he’s a boy. Isn’t a breakup always easier for them and harder for the girls? But I guess not, instead, he became attached. It went from a constant phone and facetime calls to showing up at my house every day around 3-5pm when my parents are at work and I’m home alone. It was quick when he was stalking through my window, following me around the school, watching me at football games, and blowing my friend's phones up about me. This got way out of hand, I didn’t know he was like this. If I did, I would’ve never brought him passed the friend-zone. I never knew Jordan was as immature as every other boy in the school. Rumors? Really? Is that what he’s really trying to start? If he thinks that that is the way that he’s gonna win me back, then he’s wrong. Days have passed, and things haven’t changed. It’s like my world flipped upside down, unexpectedly. Jordan wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m in highschool, so I know what it is to ignore others. But this was completely different, it turned into ambushing and soon enough it was harassment. Everywhere I went, Jordan was there. Not only was he around where I was, he seemed to be stalking my social media and my house. This was starting to get out of hand.

It was time to put a stop to all of this nonsense that Jordan has created: it’s time to get rid of him, once and for all. When all the rumors are in the school air, hot and ready, I start to think about how much is true. I soon then realize that everything he was saying was big fat lies. Every day was a new rumor, and it came down to multiple times when my friends would question me on how much of it was true, but they knew better. I always heard “she cheated on me, she got around” or “no she was over reacting”, This was the moment when I had sadly fallen into the “average disaster relationship” group. That was the category where you knew relationships were doomed from the start or full of childish/immature partners and that was Jordan’s role that put us there. The rumors got so out of control, I was starting to look bad. I went to the bathroom and looked down at my cross. Once again, I felt like a wave of relief just rolled over my head. In my mother's voice, her “motto” repeated multiple times in my head. “In this family, the women never let boys/men bring them down. When you’re feeling down, go to a place where you’re by yourself, and talk to the cross.” That’s when I knew, I had to speak up and put a stop to Jordan’s immature actions. I spent about an hour or 2 just to search for screenshots and messages between us to prove others wrong. Of course, my friends were always on my side, but once they saw the messages, they were just so upset at what Jordan was doing. They couldn’t believe it, Jordan was emotionally attached to me and didn’t want me to go.

I don’t think I would've made it through that hard breakup without my mom. As I’m telling my mom all the rumors Jordan told, I started to realize more about myself. Just like my mom says, I’m much stronger than anybody thinks I am and nobody can break that. It’s as if I saved myself from a relationship that would have just been adding more and more lies.






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