Today I feel as if I am the sands of time, just slowly waiting for the horrible news. Yesterday I was like a normal person but with hope and a smile on my face. I lost all hope all smiles and all dreams. I used to walk the road of a rainbow and have the hope of freedom and riches when I succeeded that path. Today I walk the road of the desert alone and afraid and the worst part is that there is no end to this life. Why was I trying so hard to fit in when I was born to stand out? The life of trying so hard gave me pain in everyway. I tried my best to see if it was me or you who made this world war III. I tried to be mommies perfect little girl, but when the tiniest thing went wrong I was the devils child not hers. I wanted to be loved by my mommy and held with out a scar or bruise. I remember that one day when I was five and you sent me to a pageant and you told all the other moms how special you thought I was. I was so happy and I wanted to win for my mommy, but second place wasn’t good enough for my mommy. They gave me second place because I accidently skipped a word in the pageant girl pledge. When we got home you yelled and screamed like every other night telling me that there was no room in the planet for dumb ugly people like me. From that day forward I stopped and didn’t rely one the one who gave me so much pain. That place wasn’t where I belonged. My father filed for custody and the final decision is set. I hold my daddy close by and squeezed his hand and started to cry. The judge then says all rise….. In this case I give the father full custody... I kept on blinking to make sure this was what I was actually hearing. My eyes begin to have a water fall of joy and my daddy cries to and we hug one another and no more relying on pain.
No more pain from you..
November 30, 2011