Why do you try to stop me from doing what I love? Why do you discourage me or try to make me feel scared about something I love? Why do you try to intimidate me? Why did you make me feel like I couldn't do anything? Why did you believe I can't be successful? How could you make someone feel so bad about themselves?
I just want to thank my coach. I want to thank my coach for every time he made me feel bad about myself or make me feel discouraged. You always wanted to make me stick out or make me feel not wanted. I didn't have to go to those practices. I have my other team that shows me support and helps me. I have practice with that team on the same night. I could go to that practice instead. I wanted to go to your practice to show you how committed I am even when I wasn't happy. Then I realized, why put myself through this when all I get is hatred. When I go to my other team, they make me feel good and want me to want to play.
Soccer was always my outlet, my way to leave my life for an hour or two and play the sport I love. When I walk on the field, I leave everything from my life off the field and just think about the game and playing like it's the last game I will ever play, putting all my heart and soul into every game, hoping the game will never end. I am hoping the sixty-five minutes are never up because we still can win, or playing a physical fun game, or just having fun playing with friends. Going to soccer was my happy place. You made it an unhappy or worrisome place to go to. When I go to practice or games, I get butterflies in my stomach; you're supposed to be excited to go to practice not scared. You made me worry about going to the place I use as support, love, and a place to stop worrying about my life and everything else around me.
I just want to thank you for every time you made me feel invisible or not talented. I want to thank you for every time you pretended I wasn't there or made me feel like I couldn't do anything or I can't play soccer. But, thank you for every time I walked off the field and you pretended I wasn't there or after the game not saying anything to me about the game, or not even saying goodbye. You put negative thoughts into my head that gave me self doubt for everything. Thank you for making a big deal over a small mistake or for not making a big deal when I exceeded your expectations. Thank you for saying ¨fix that¨ or ¨that's¨ not how you do that¨ every time I messed up and then never saying something supportive when I did something good. For making me scared to make a mistake or worried to speak up when you thought I was the reason why that goal or mistake happened.
I just want to thank you for every time you said I was the reason that goal happened when I wasn't even a part of the play, and it had nothing to do with me. Thank you for every time someone made a mistake and you said I did it or it was my fault. I want to thank you for being hard on me for the little things and picking on everything I do and making me feel like making a mistake is a bad thing and not a learning experience.
I just want to thank you Coach T. for everything! Because every time you made me feel small, invisible, worthless, or discouraged, I channeled all of that into motivation. Instead of crying and believing all the negative stuff you to put into my head, I´ve made it into something positive. If you pretend I'm invisible, I give you a reason to see me! When you make me stand out, I try to stand out in a good way. When you make me feel worthless, I hustle harder and be faster. I show you compassion and the value I bring to the team. If you say to me ¨I CAN'T,¨ I will say ¨I CAN AND I WILL” and prove you wrong!