Ms. Schwenzer sits before me; ready to listen to take in the thoughts I am about to share with her. She is always there and open ready to think and hear me out. I barely know her, yet I feel like I can trust her and like she understands me. My awkwardness is not gawked at, yet appreciated. I had seen other counselors before, psychologists also� yet never felt like I could trust them- like everything I said was being told to someone, everything being recorded every action� every move. Yet in this room I knew every word I spoke � would be responded with a nod, a glance, a thought � she really cared.


I remember one time I was sitting in the bathroom at my dads � on the edge of the bathtub � with a pair of scissors in one hand ready to cut myself. About to slit through, about to cut through the flesh that was my upper left arm. Thinking it would take away from the pain, take away from it all. Transfer me to a different world. But just when I was about to do it � I thought what would Ms. S do. And I stopped � no person has ever had that type of influence on me before. I knew it wouldn’t be the smart thing.


The next day I went to her and said Ms. S, we need to talk. And even though it wasn’t my scheduled time, even though she was busy beyond belief with the 399 other students in my grade � she said, “Okay, come on in.� and I sat there � it was only 6th period. She asked me to step out into the hallway, the "oh so familiar spot" we would sit and talk � right outside room 421. I told her everything, from almost cutting myself to thinking about what she would say. To this day, I still can’t describe the look on her face when I told her I stopped because I thought about what she would do. She let me hang out in her office for the rest of the day � but right before we went in she said “And know � anytime you need anything, the door is open. Even if you’re just having a bad day.�


I’m still at M.S. 167, and Ms. Schwenzer is still my amazing guidance counselor � thanks � oh and by the way I feel cared for and respected when I talk to you because you’re a great person to talk to and what I want is for you to keep doing what you’re doing.