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Alone

By , durham, NH
You don’t know me, you never will and you don’t want too. I hope you never meet the fate I had to; the fate that took me on a trip to hell and back. I hope you put this down now and don’t read the misfortune splashed upon the pages. I hope you’ve put this down by now but if not…
It all began one blustery Saturday. I was running down my street, the rain was soaking my shirt through. And my hair was swinging into my face. The gold flecked eyes glanced back at me in the broken mirror to my left. To my right was the graphitized alley wall. The shattered glass littered the ground. I ran, my legs pumping straining with the effort it took to keep going.
My breathing was coming in short swift breaths. The pounding of my heart was like a thousand hoses hooves pounding the ground. I wondered where I would have to start, where I would find her. Where would I go if I was running away? Where could I go if I were her, where would I be safe?

A noise behind me stopped my dead sprint. This caused my ankle to rotate into an unnatural position. I herd a sickening snap as my weight came down all on my left ankle. I fell, my hands hitting the glass shards, pain shot up my leg as my ankle rolled yet again.
Tears sprung to my eyes, but I held them in. who ever was behind me wanted me in pain and I wasn’t going to give them anything they wanted.

A boot clad foot nudged my ribs, I winced in pain. The fall must have bruised a rib. The Boot was covered in mud, odd to find around here. It was all pavement and brick, no dirt, no mud. Simple. The boot nudged me again, harder this time. I rolled onto my side and looked up into cold grey eyes. They were hard as steel and cold as ice. His face was covered by a jet black sky mask. The only thing I could see was his eyes.

Those eyes would haunt me, day and night. His mouth moved under the mask but nothing words reached my ears.
His eyes rolled back into his head and he landed on the ground.
My scream was muffled by the hand wrapping around my mouth. The hand was rough and callused, probably from hard work. My eyes widened to the size of large dinner plates. My heart was pounding so loud I know he could hear it.
This was the sleazy part of town, it was dog eat dog. If you were seen carrying any cash you would be jumped. I was desperate to keep the tears inside my body. If I started crying now, who knows what would happen.
The hand slowly relaxed its death grip on my face. It was cautious as if they were waiting for me to scream again. I sat still quivering ever so slightly. I heard quick, snippy voices coming from behind me. Someone snapped a cell phone shut and ran down the alley, smashing a mirror along the way.

I sat there looking at the blood dripping from my hand. I knew I had to leave before the cops came. If they found me here I’d be dead. There was one cop in particular that I was on bad terms with. Officer Farley, even the name was mean. He was a bitter man, and oddly young to be so mean. He was only 21 but hated the world. At age 15 he was arrested for drugs. The officer got him help and He eventually quit drugs, which is when he decided to teach other kids’ lessons. He was tall with wavy blond hair. His eyes were green, dead green no light or joy ever entered them. He was a soulless man; some people say he sold his soul. I don’t believe them; I would like Farley if it weren’t for all the run-ins we’ve had. He’s stopped me for every thing imaginable. J walking, chewing gum loudly, everything!
I stood up and glanced down the alleyway, I didn’t know what had happened to steel toe. But as I said dog eat dog world.
I started to hobble down the ally way leaning on the wall for support. As soon as I reached sunlight I sunk to the pavement. My head fell to my knees and I fell asleep in the sun.
I awoke to someone looking at me. He was just sitting there his messy brown hair falling in his eyes. He smiled when he saw I was awake. His emerald green eyes shone like disco balls. His teeth were white and straight, I wondered if he had ever had braces. He stuck out his left hand and said “Hi, I’m Matt.” I shook his hand but looked at him suspiciously. “What’s your name…?” he prompted.
“My name is…Lacy.” I answered, not looking him in the eye. He made me suspicious, my parents taught me to never trust people. I looked over at his shoes, black converse high-tops. Matt followed my gaze and laughed.
“Looks like we have the same taste in shoes, only yours are so dirty they look brown.” He nodded at my feet and I looked down to see that he was right. I looked up at him suspiciously; he was seriously starting to tick me off.
“So matt, where are you from? I think I herd a slight accent when you were talking.” I was furtively trying to start a conversation so I could get away from him. Now it was his turn to look at me suspiciously. He glanced at me and stood up, turning slightly to face the sun.
“Pretty isn’t it.” He whispered almost so softly I couldn’t hear him. I looked at the sunset and nodded my head starting to scoot away from him. “Nope, don’t even try” Matt hadn’t even looked away from the sunset. “I’m not leaving you alone out here …Lacy if you’re determined to get away from me you will have to do much better than that.”
“Than it looks like your going to be stuck here for a while aren’t you?” I retorted really peeved now. He raised one eyebrow in an oh-do-you-think-so way. “I’m not moving until you leave and you’re not leaving me here alone… so it looks like we’re stuck aren’t we?” I let some acid seep into my tone.

Matt sighed and kneeled down next to me and sighed. “You have forgotten to account for a few details, one you are hurt, two I’m stronger than you and three I never said that id wait for you to move.” And with that he scooped me off the pavement and started running towards the jungle of downtown New York City.

“You are really starting to make me mad,” I muttered at him. He smiled down at me and laughed at my twisted expression.

“That’s my job,” He flashed a large smile and broke down laughing when I rolled my eyes. The only noise was his shoes on the pavement, I was planning my escape. I needed a distraction so that I could get away from him and find her. Find out about her, something anything.

Dad never talked about mom. He just said one day she up and left leaving me with my father telling him he was always the better parent. From teachers and other parents I had found out mom had been extremely pretty once, but had gotten into drugs and much too into her boyfriend. All the other parents looked at me with mixed expressions, ranging from pity to hatred. After careful consideration I had decided I was an accident. It explained so much, why all my friends’ parents were so much older than my mom and why they blamed me for her running away. No sixteen year old wants a two year old kid. I know of her but nothing about her, she’s just another person in the world.

Breaking me from my memories and tidal wave of emotions Matt stopped running. I almost fell out of his arms which would have suited me just fine, but, Matt caught me. He looked down at me and sighed.

“Lacy just go I know you need to do something really important, just don’t get yourself killed okay.” And with those parting words Matt set me down and walked away down the street until I couldn’t see him anymore.

I tightened my high-tops and set off in the other direction. Reaching for my wrist I discovered my hair elastic had survived yesterday. I wrestled my hair into a sloppy bun and continued on my way. My mind kept returning to Matt, wondering who he was. I had only caught a glimpse into his life and even though he had deterred me from my path, I had needed human contact. I turned the corner to find a woman standing bare foot on the bridge.
The bridge connected the sleazy section of New York from the higher class end of New York.

It was extremely high up over the rockiest places in New York. The rocks stuck up like morning bed head and were slippery from an old oil spill.

The woman’s hair was a wild blond nest with pieces of leaves knotted into it. I couldn’t see her face but she reminded me of the cave woman we learned about in Social Studies. Her clothing was tattered and grimy. Her arms were thin and pale, like tree branches.

“Miss” I called. The wind began to pick up and rain started to splatter onto my face. She turned to look at me and I saw her eyes, cold pale blue eyes. They showed a life given up on, like she had just given up on trying. Her eyes widened when she saw me and she stepped farther backwards.

When I moved forewords her eyes narrowed into slits and she let out a hiss that got swept around by the wind. Glancing down at her feet she slid them farther towards the edge of the bridge railing.


“Goodbye Lacy” she cried as a wave of rain smacked her and she fell backwards off the bridge. I ran to the railing and looked down onto the rocks. All I could see was swirling fog covering the rocks and any sign of life or the woman over the edge. Then the panic set in, who was she and how did she know my name?

Letting my feet guide me I started running away, away from everything I knew and everything left to find out. If it weren’t for the woman’s extremely heavy bag I tripped over I might have run over the bridge. Flailing as I landed on the wet asphalt, I smacked my nose on the ground. Blood started spurting from both nostrils. The wet lined paper flew onto my bleeding nose and I grabbed for it.

Dear Lacy,
I know you have been looking for me, and you have no clue who I am but I can tell you that seeing you completed my life and knowing you are okay let me leave the life I never wanted. People may get angry at you or tell you things that aren’t true but promise me that you will stay Lacy-like,



Forever loving you, Mum


It was way too much to process at the moment. My entire body shut down and I sat there looking at the railing where my mom had just been standing. My hand danced over the black metal, letting the rain plink off it.

Tears spilled from my eyes and I let my brain take control just running, grabbing the metal banister. The wind whipped at my face and the rain slammed me sideways. Closing my eyes I let my brain shut off and took my last breath.And with that I leave the world alone.





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