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Suicide This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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   Suicide. To some, it is only a word. To others, a fleeting thought of no real concern to them. But to people like myself, it's a painful reality. I've been there, and it's somewhere I hope to never be again. It's loneliness and isolation and hopelessness and despair. It's agony and anger and an endless road of desperate turns. But it's not a solution.

You look down on yourself and you hate yourself and you feel alone. You feel rejected and unaccepted and it seems there's nothing to live for. Maybe it's your family or your friends. Maybe you're abused or on drugs or on the run. Maybe it feels like nothing else matters and it's the only way out. But it's not.

The reasons differ, but the feelings are the same. I've been through it, and I've survived. It took five years, two hospitalizations, foster care, and a lot of support. But I'm alive. My life is not perfect and my problems did not evaporate. It hasn't been easy, but I now know I want to live.

I don't want anyone to have to go through what I did. There is hope and there is help. Believe me.

If you feel this way, talk to someone: a parent, friend, relative, counselor, doctor. Call a hotline, read a book, write a poem, take a walk. But suicide is not worth it.

Maybe what I'm saying means nothing and maybe it means something. But you don't have to feel alone anymore. I care. No matter who you are or where you're from. If you feel you have no one, you don't. Someone always cares. But please, don't look at death as an answer. n


This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

TubaLady This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 8:06 am
I totally understand. It is a way out, but not an option. It's so depressing to know that, in the Midwest, somebody commits suicide every two hours. I almost lost someone I knew to suicide and I lost my mind to it. I was so scared and depressed I would cut myself and take tons of painkillers a day, hoping I would got to sleep and never wake up. But it's true; there is help, and there is hope
 
TubaLady This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 8:08 am
I mean "go to sleep". My fault.
 
MaxRide said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

i have been there, and i wrote a poem about it.

I am still there sometimes, when people bully me to no extent, but i am working on it.

THANX! <3

 
TubaLady This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 11:34 am
thats happened to me, too. and i write poetry about it, too. what a coincidence. :)
 
MaxRide replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 8:35 am
thats really kwl!
 
HateKnuckle said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 9:58 pm
For anyone else going through this, I also love you. I care and I don't want you to give up.
 
C.N.Red said...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Thanks for writing this. All I can say is that, yes I have been there, (haven't all artists and writers been there at some point?) and I know the feeling. Thanks again for writing this.
 
xXxdancing_for_rainxXx said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Thank you so much for this article <3 I've been there as well, and it's a frightening place to be. I've gone to several therapists, hospitalization, medications, etc. I was diagnosed with severe depression/anxiety about a year ago, and struggle with self-harm and some disordered eating tendencies. I am so very glad you made it through- that's wonderful! Hold on to that strength <3

Through my trials, I've also found that I want to live. It's tough at times, but life is worth ... (more »)

 
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