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A Funeral Toast for a Most Esteemed Feline

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I would like to call a toast. A toast for a great figure- a forgotten legend
that faded away because no one cared to remeber him. He may not
have existed but he inspired us,


Garfield taught us to enjoy life. That we can devour lasagna and that
Italian cuisine is the best! He demonstrated that exercise is not
necessary to be smart, He educated and enlightened those that desire a
dog, to show them they are hopelessly wrong. Cats would NEVER tear
your house apart.


If you need advice, as we all long for, cats will instruct you in the right
direction. Cats are masters. Cats, Garfield demonstrated would
dominate the world. Their own house is their palace. Garfield
instructed Jon on exactly how to live. From what to prepare for dinner
to just about anything. Do you not see the knowledge we have
acquired? Here is a life book— a life instruction manual.


We are Jon, and we can learn from this film exactly what to do. Do you
ever wonder why we are intensely concerned for our diet? Because we
need to watch Garfield! and learn how to enjoy life. He told us exactly
what to eat. Our appearance may change, as we may become a little
plump, yet we will be happy! I plead with you to bring Garfield back, by
watching this mind — boggling film. I would also like to clarify that this
information is ALL from his view and perspective. I agree with none of
it.






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