My Older

Sister Melissa

by J. C., Portland, CT



My older sister Melissa has had an extremely negative impact on me over the years. As her younger sister, I always looked up to her as an example of who I should be. In fact, as a child I longed to become her reflection. Melissa and I are biological sisters and we both have a younger brother, Tom. We were all adopted together at the ages of five, three, and one.

Melissa was a very confused and generally unhappy child as a result of the constant changes and moves that took place in her first five years of life. As I've grown older, I truly believe that this was the cause for her actions. She was just a product of her environment. When Melissa, Tom and I came to live with our new parents, it was a dream come true for Tom and me who grew to understand this benefit years after the move. Change was the last thing Melissa needed at that point in her life.

For Melissa, the first few years with our new parents were fulfilling, but the satisfaction didn't last. Melissa expected that more changes were waiting for her in the near future. This state of mind caused her to build walls instead of bridges. My parents didn't know what they could do for her. They loved her, gave her all the attention they could, and more. The truth is, that the more my parents loved her, the further Melissa would manage to push them away.

Melissa had a negative impact on me because of her behavioral problems. She began to hang out with the bad crowd, do drugs, smoke, and ignore our parents' wishes. She would do anything for attention. Fortunately, I always knew that drugs were wrong. Even though Melissa became a drug addict, I never did succumb to this problem of hers. However, I did begin to smoke cigarettes when I was fourteen. Just recently I came to realize that this habit was wrong. I have since cut down to three cigarettes a day. I am now on the road to a nicotine-free lifestyle. I also began to take Melissa's side in all the arguments she had with our parents. Later on I even began getting myself in trouble because of her language that I thought was cool. The list goes on and on.

As I stand back and take a good look at the past and how I was so attached to Melissa and her terrible behavior, I know that the things we did were wrong. Melissa is one of the most important people in my life no matter how many mistakes she makes. I love her and I forgive her for all she has done. I do blame myself for the things that I did. But I can honestly say that I have grown mature enough now to take control of my own life. In doing so I have become a much stronger individual, and I have learned the difference between right and wrong.