No where on your birth certificate does it say life is going to be fair. If life was fair, we would all go to hell. Life is a confusing thing and sometimes, some of us just wish life could end. No one tells you that life is going to perfect. No one tells you that there is not going to be any problems. There is going to be problems and when they only seem to be getting worse, do not expect people to tell you that life is going to be fair.
Why is it when people tell you 'My parents are so UNFAIR' you begin to ponder the thought? Are your parents the same way? Are your parents here because they love you, or are you thinking they are ruining your life? Think about that. Some parents are not put on this planet for them to make your life miserable. They are here to help you. Yes, your parents tell you all the time, 'I do not want you to turn out the way I did' because they made the same mistakes that you may be making. Your parents do not want you to be someone who does not succeed. They want what is best for you.
No one ever tells you what to expect in life. No one can predict what you are going to grow up like, and absolutely NO ONE tells you life's entire crisis's that are affecting everyone at this very moment. Have you heard of depression? How about suicide or self mutilation? Those are the things that you never expect to consider for yourself. Living in a home with abuse, drugs, and alcohol, things no one ever told you that you're going to have to live with, turns you into those people. You start to go crazy. You hear about suicide in a book or watch it on TV. It explains how the people who you least expect end up committing suicide because of the way their life is going. They act like everything is ok. They do well in school and in sports or while away from home, but then you notice that they start to fall. Their grades go down suddenly, they withdrawal from usual everyday activities, and they start to talk about death. You never suspect anything until it's too late. No one ever tells you that in life you are going to lose someone close to you so soon.
If you are questioning the meaning of life because you have been unhappy and depressed or if you want to know the meaning of life because you feel useless and worthless. There are people out there in the world who have gone through the same things. I am one of them.
I have been abused physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually. I have tried many different ways to get people to leave me alone because I did not want the help. I had days where everything was going really good and then I started going downhill and I wanted no one there, but everywhere I went, there were people there to help me. Everyone thought that my life was great, that I didn't have any problems in my life. They thought I had the perfect parents and I never got in trouble. All of those people were wrong. My dad was in prison my whole life. My mom was with an abusive boyfriend who not only abused her, but abused me also. My mom was an alcoholic until I was the age of 12. She was always working and staying out late. She never spent time with her kids. Because of that, I ended up starting to smoke and do stupid stuff. I got in trouble with the law once and I never listened to my mom.
After I got involved in a fight between my mom and her boyfriend, I called the police. I thought that my mom would leave and follow me, but she left me, and I ended up in a foster home. There I was treated like nothing was wrong in my life. That I was going to be fine. While there, I ended up cutting for the first time. I then got put into a group home and did the same thing. I was a cutter. Everyday I wanted to end my life. I didn't care what anyone said about me. I ended up finally running away from the home and got put into a more restricted group home. While there, I continued cutting. I did everything I could to end my life. I drank bleach, I threw myself in front of a car, and I tried cutting so deep that I would bleed to death. But nothing worked. God must have had a plan for me because I am still here.
I am now back in the first group home. I got put there in May of 2008. I have only had one incident that involved cutting since being there. I am taking my life day by day because I don't want to end up the way I was. This Christmas, I am planning to move back with my mom. She has finally removed herself from her abusive boyfriend and I am choosing to go live with her. I am also going to be getting a tattoo this Christmas also. I am planning to get foot prints to go over my arms. Why did I decide to get footprints? Because I want people to see that I have made it through all the tough stuff, one step at a time.
No where on your birth certificate does it say life is going to be fair. Don't allow your self to believe it is because you know its not. Everyone has there troubles and when you can overcome them like I am, you only become a stronger person.