Let Go

March 18, 2009
By xxmikosanxx SILVER, Wills Point, Texas
xxmikosanxx SILVER, Wills Point, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Why couldn't everything be the way it was supposed to be?

I am ten years old. This is the first time I've realized that not everything ends happily, or even stays that way for very long.

I am ten years old and I am helping my mom unpack boxes in our new house, move from our old one. These houses are very different. The old one was bigger, friendlier, ours. We owned it; Mom put thousands of dollars into fixing it. This one is small and cold and we don't own it. It's a rent house, from the lady that works at 'The Beauty Shoppe' on Monument Street. I hate this house.

I am ten years old and I am crying because every time I think of the old white house I think of the door I painted the stairway to the moon on. That was my door; that was my room!

Why did he make us leave?

As a small child with limited knowledge of the real world, I couldn't understand how things had gotten so had that my mom and step dad no longer wanted to live in the same house. I couldn't understand 'arguments' and 'legal ownership,' and therefore resented the effects these two things had on me.

All I understood was that I was moving. I had to deal with less stuff, with a little room, with blank walls that I wasn't allowed to paint on our nail things to. I didn't know the kids in this neighborhood, and my step dad was gone.

I couldn't look ahead; I wanted the past. This inability to let go hurt me and made me a different person.

Why doesn't he love us anymore?

I am fourteen years old and I still don't understand. The one thing I know is that thinking about what could have been doesn't help. Wondering what went wrong and wishing I could fix it--that doesn't help.

Moving has changed me, made me realize that yesterday's mistakes shouldn't change your outlook on today. I've learned to take things one day at a time, to feel for, but not dwell on, the past.

The author's comments:
I dream about this a lot. When my English teacher gives us prompts in class, I am able to work this topic into many of them. That just goes to show how much divorce affects you, all of you. Your entire outlook on life changes when someone you always thought would be there for you just... leaves.

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