i don't know what to do. i'm so bored. is it boredom? she left just hours ago, sometimes it seems like years, other times it seems like just now she left. her scent is engraved into my pillow and i keep grabbing it; closing my eyes, smelling her, wishing. my bed is still a mess from the night we spent fooling around on it. i know i'll see her again, but it won't be for a while. her touch still lingers on my skin. i can still feel her hair, [slightly wet from a half an hour old shower] falling lightly on to my face. her perfumed scent is still in my room, and i can't begin to get her off of my mind. i feel her arms around me and the wetness of her mouth every time i close my eyes there she is, in front of me, in the dim light of my bedroom, tossing her long blond hair to a side and crawling up close behind me, telling me to never let her go. and i don't want to, i don't want to even now. every time i look into those hazel eyes i want to hold her forever. but i knew she had to leave, to go back home, so far away. i said before she came that i would make our time together something to remember, because i knew that i wouldn't get a second chance. i was always told that long distance relationships don't last. when you have a regular relationship you take little things like hearing her voice, touching her, just being with her, for granted. when seeing each other is a rarity the pain burns with a new hurt every time the time together comes to an end. now i can't concentrate on anything. i keep wondering if she is thinking of me the same way i am thinking of her right now. or is she off having a good time like i should be. but right now i'm still numb. she called me when she got back home, and it felt so different talking on the phone when we had been face to face just a few hours before. i only wish i could touch her, but i don't know when the next time will be. i just know it will end the same way, and we'll go back to writing letters and talking on the phone, and once again i'll shake my head and wonder why it had to be this way. c
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.