My High School Struggles

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It is very hard to tell or share the struggles, the pressure and all the other problems I face in high school and even if I try to tell, the reader cannot understand it unless the reader himself or herself go through those situations which I experienced. I do not know were to begin with and how to share my high school experiences. There is a lot I have to tell, to think in my mind, but I do not know how to put it together in words or to make sense of my experiences.
I am from India; therefore I had faced my own problems, as a foreign exchange student. And I did not know how my new school, my new life, new people will be until I lived it. I was very excited and at the same time so afraid as well. Why was I afraid? It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Imagine, how you do not know anything about the new school system? And what kinds of people will be there? I struggled a lot to get used and get to know about the school system. It took me a long time to get to know everything and get used with the people. It was more like replacing every aspect of my life with a whole new elements and with in that system me struggling to adapt to it.
Language was the most difficult thing for me to learn and get to use to it and I am sure I still have trouble speaking English, but I am also sure that I improved a lot and I am trying may be not my best, but better and I am doing what ever I can to improve my language skills, may be not very well, but to speak better. I had trouble understanding other people and it took me a long time to figure out what they were talking about. I still remember how I used to laugh in class without even knowing why I was laughing. I laughed because my classmates were laughing. Like I said before the reader will not understand the struggles I had been through unless he or she go through the same situation, especially a student how is from a different country. I still remember how the students made fun of my accent, the way I look, the way I walk and it hurt me so much that I even cried when I was alone and could not tell anyone about how I felt. I believed that even if I tried to tell anyone, they will not understand me and they never can not. I remember the question of my parents' about my new school and my answer to that. I told them it was great although it really was not. My parents believed that it is easy for the kids to get used to a new life and it was very hard for them to get used to it. But only the kids knew how hard it was for them to get used to a new life and it still is hard for them to get used to it no matter how hard they try, they just can not get use to it. It was very hard for me to make friends and I always felt I am lonely and I did not trust anyone. Later in life, I found out that some of the friends I made were not really my friends. They were just 'friends'. But today, I know that I am not lonely and I have friend's not just friends, but friends who I can share my feelings and tell anything I feel like to say right away and does not take it personally and does not make fun out of it. The friends I made can look weird for some people, but they are not weird for me. I have learned a lot of lessons form my friends and from what I have been through and I just don't know how to explain it, how to share it to the reader. It is very hard to explain it, put it in words. Even though I know I have a lot that I can say and I wanted to say.
The word life is not very big, but it is big when you think about it and it means a lot to me. When you look into someone's life, you think they are happy and they have everything they want and you just wish your life was just like that. But only they know what it is like. It is like, let say you are looking at a bird and wish what if you could fly away and be just like that bird. But you do not realize that your life is much better than that until you get the chance to be a bird and feel it yourself to understand how it is like to be a bird. I am sure you want to go back to your original life. People do not understand how lucky they are to be just the way they are and does not recognize their values in their family. People always look for something else and wishes to leave everything behind and be someone else. They are not happy with what they have or they are not at least trying to be happy with what they have. Everybody wants be someone else. Even I wished I was born in America and live my life here in America so that, I will be like everyone else and then I won't go through the problems I had went through and no one will make fun of me. But now I understand better and I am happy to be what I am right now and what I have right now and what I always had. I am proud to be who I am right now.





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