Look At What You've Caused

February 14, 2009
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Look at what you've caused. Once I was a vibrant, energetic human being, careless of what was to come next. I followed the breeze, believing that if I played my cards right, my destiny would lay out in front of me. But no, I wound up with you. I believed you were the one, my true soulmate, I dreamed about you, I wrote about you, I cried about you, all in the matter of 30 minutes. You told me that you loved me.

And now, I am a pool of despair. I can't help but feel betrayed every time I see you. I can't determine if I still love you or if I hate you because the thought of you just makes it unbearable. Why did you have to do this to me? I didn't know my body contained that many tears, that when they were released, my pillows would be stained forever. I didn't know I had it in me to stare at your picture and then light a fire underneath it so that my memory of you would be gone forever. But no, it is forever tainted with you.

How could I be so naive? I fell into your trap, that's how. I fell for your eyes, your smile, I fell for your outside appearance. But I didn't even care to look at your inside character, and that's what cost me. You were out of my league and yet I chose to believe otherwise. When you said you loved me, I believed you, and now what? Am I supposed to believe that you still love me when you didn't care about me in the first place? I can't wait anymore for you, because my heart is already being ripped at the seams.

So look at what you've caused. I am now nothing but a mirror image of what I was. My hope has been drained, and the only emotion I feel now is anger. You lied to me. YOU LIED TO ME!!!!! And you act like nothing is wrong. NOTHING IS WRONG!!?? Bull, everything is wrong. My world has been painted black because of you, I can't go anywhere without breaking down, and then I have to lie about everything. All because of you.

All because of you.

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