First loves are like trick candles, they never die out and while they flicker problems happen again and again. It seems that the first time I saw him the world around me just died and came back to life. Like someone pushed a pause button on the world and they let me enjoy my moment of love at first sight. He was the new kid on the block and no one knew him but I felt as if I had known him forever. I asked one of my friends and they told me his name. A name that never did fit him and never will. I admired him at a distance and told no one about my passion for him. When love would come to the conversation I either left or remanded silent. People gave up on asking me about who I liked because it was always the same answer ?no one?. I grew tired of hiding my heart and gave it out to the stupid person to give it to, one of his best friends. I guess my feeling couldn?t contain a simple game of hide and seek. After I said it without thought my eyes burned and my feet moved out from under me and carried me with them. I didn?t show my face at all that weekend, I couldn?t bare it. Then when Monday came I didn?t feel like I would be able to make it through school. I had made it all the way till PE when someone came up to me saying he liked me too. I was so ecstatic that my heart pumped so loud that I was sure people could hear. They were all looking at me and I thought it was because of my heart but then I relied I was on the floor staring at the ceiling. I recovered to avoid even more embarrassment. That night all I could dream of was him and me walking together through town. When I woke up, it was different. I wasn?t the little 5th grader I was when I fainted because of some news that could have easily been a lie. I was this 13-year-old girl with my feet touching the end of my bed. I then remembered. Nothing ever happened between us, until two years later, which at that point was the day before. I had been asked out by the guy of my dreams, a night in shinning armor if you must. Blue/grey eyes just staring right at me and long overgrown hair in his face. I had fallen completely head over heels for him, but he didn?t seem to care about what I did or how I looked. So I did the hardest thing in the world, I dumped him with burning watery eyes and all. I was still pretty much in love with him, but I wouldn?t admit it. I still love this guy but no one knows it and I wont stop loving him. It?s too hard. My candle still glows bright.
My First Love
February 11, 2009