If I wrote you a letter, I would say...

March 3, 2009
By
I could never figure out how I could like you so much, and yet things just wouldn't 'click' between us. If opposites truly attract, than we should be like magnets. I guess to some extent we are lured to each other, but not in the way that I wished for for six straight months. But that's not the point-the point is that I finally figured it out.

You know what I liked-scratch that-loved so much about you? The way you loved her-endlessly, selflessly, honorably; enough to let her go-the ultimate sacrifice of love. There was one day that I became aware of how selfish I am. 'I unwillingly have a selfish nature'-I believe that's the way I put it. Now I realize that 'envious' may be more applicable.

I won't trouble you with the things that bothered me so much about you (how any silent moment was an awkward moment; how the only times you were serious was when it related to her). Instead, I will burden you with the things that I loved:

I loved staying up until 2 o'clock in the morning talking with you about basically nothing, even though that generally meant I would be exhausted the next day. I loved the fact that you had morals and standards that were typically above many of the other immature guys I knew. Even more so, I loved that you honored those standards. I loved how looked out for your friends, and how you upheld the unspoken code to not rat any of your buds out. And sometimes I loved how simple some things were with you-right and wrong was always so clearly defined. Oh-and even though you may disagree-I loved how you looked right after you got a haircut.

As Sara Bareilles so wonderfully put it, I'm not going to write you a love song-well, I'm not going to write you another love song. But I will tell you that you've been worth all of the pain; you're worth every sleepless night and every tear that I've cried.

Even if we weren't 'meant to be,' a broken heart is a broken heart, and it'll be a long time before I heal. Still, I would have gone through this all over again, because even though it's been a painful experience, I've learned a lot about myself, who I want to be, and who I want to be with until I die.

Maybe I shouldn't have troubled you with any of this, but it's finally bringing 'us' to a conclusion, and I need that. I told you, I'm selfish.

So, in conclusion, I'll say it; I love you. It's been the most exhilarating, and wonderfully new feeling that I've experienced in a long time. It's simply been beautiful. And now here it goes-saying good bye. And I will have the last word in this-need I remind you? Selfish.

I wish you the best and the best for you. I won't hold you down any longer-I refuse to clutter your mind anymore. Because I love you.

I guess that says is all.

It's been nice knowing you.

Goodbye my almost lover.

Goodbye.





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