Waiting

March 2, 2009
By , Las Vegas, NV
She sits at her desk, procrastinating and obsessing over her situation that breaks her spirits every time she looks too closely. Finish your English essay, she thinks to herself. Tonight her body decides not to obey. Instead, it longs to look to her dreary future. High school is coming in about six months. Which one will you go to? she asks herself. The girl hates the thought of four more years at a public school so much that she just wants to hurl at the very thought of it. Inside, she knows that everyone who doesn't know her will hate her. She doesn't fit the normal mold. She daydreams of running off to a foreign country dragging along her girlfriend. Every day is a struggle to keep from screaming to her school, to her whole country, to just be what she wants. A happy, tolerant place. Someplace like the magical European land that promises happiness to her. Yet she is held back by age, by her family who dreams of her living in Vegas her whole life, by her friends who only want to go see the latest movie. Her only escape is the internet where she reads stories of girls having the times of their lives outside of her confined desert valley. While everyone else gets high off of weed and drunk off of vodka so parents can't smell it, she sits at her desk poring through fairy tales of non-Americans, her heart aching at every word. Without the small window to look out of inside her square, gray prison cell, her life would be hopeless. No sunlight would be cast upon her life to let her know that there is a state of being out there that she can have. Without that ray of hope, she may have died inside long ago. Now she knows what to do. She can feel inside of her the blueprints out of confinement.
Just wait, she assures herself as she becomes increasingly worked up. It will happen in a matter of time. Just wait.





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