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Love Knows No Age
I sat down on the bleachers, as I watched the junior varsity team warm-up. He looked at me, our eyes catching. I smiled slightly to him. He grinned back, before turning around and taking a shot. The ball went through the hoop with a swoosh. He turned around; his eyes lit up, his grin now reaching his ears, and began to walk towards me. My heart fluttered, the beating increased, my breath shortened, my brain was a mess. I've always heard the stories about how things slow down when something great is about to happen, and that all you can see is just the two of you, well I finally experienced it. Time seemed to slow; I couldn't see anyone but him.
I don't know when I fell in love with him. Maybe it was when I first saw him during my junior, his freshman year of high school. Every girl loved him, they always said hi to him in the hallway. He was Mr. Popular with everyone in the school, until his brother came. Maybe I fell in love with him when I watched his first basketball game of his sophomore year. Maybe I fell in love with him when I first talked to him, during the Varsity basketball game. Maybe I fell in love with him, during the school dance, when I danced four slow songs with him. I even missed the group circle at the end to dance with him. Maybe I fell in love with him at that moment, when he was walking over to me. I can't be certain when I fell in love with him; I knew at that moment, however; as he was walking towards me, that I was in love.
Love, it was the one thing that scared me the most. Fears and phobias were always my thing, ranging from oceans to the dark to new people to crowds to silence, I was a phobia freak. Love however was the one thing, besides the ocean that I really had a reason to not like. My hate and phobia of the ocean is a complete different story, that maybe someday I will tell, however love is the one thing that held me back from telling him I loved him. I really wasn't around people who were truly, completely, and totally in love. Sure they might say they love each other, but are they truly in love, well I never thought so.
Anyways, I could never have told anyone this that I know. I would be ridiculed for life, here I was the epitome of people who don't care what others think, and yet I was thinking about what others would think of me. A senior in love with a sophomore, and okay so some of the people in my grade are doing that, but this is me we are talking about here. I won't lie I've dated more than one guy in his grade. Let me tell you when you go to a small school with less than a hundred in a graduating class you're options are pretty limited when it comes to guys in your grade to date. Plus, I'm not what you would call the prettiest girl in school, nor was I popular. It's funny throughout my whole high school career I never dated anyone in the grades above me. Sure I had dated one of the guys in my grade freshman year, but we really just held hands in the halls and sat together at lunch, it wasn't really a 'full' relationship.
I didn't even receive my first kiss until I was sixteen almost seventeen, a junior almost senior. It was to a guy in his grade too, a guy who one of my friends had a huge crush on. We broke up, because I was a complete and total jerk. I was always an awkward self-conscious teen kid; I really didn't change when I got older. So, going from a relationship where I never really talked to the guy, to a relationship where the guy wanted to be with me twenty-four seven was awkward and it scared me. So I broke it off with the second guy to ever kiss me.
The third guy to kiss me was probably the one that really affected me the most. Our relationship was good; everything seemed great at the beginning. My friends loved the fact that the two of us were together, saying how cute we were. Even to this day I still get asked why I broke up with him. When I reply with the same answer I told him, they say, but you two were so good together. I feel horrible, even to this day, for all the guys' hearts I've broken. I've only been broken up with twice, but I've broken up with a lot of guys.
Some may call me a tease and what not, but the truth is I'm an addict. I'm addicted to guys. I have a new crush every week. However, when a guy asks me out, I can't say no (for the most part at least), because I hate to hurt people. Sure I like them as friends, and every time I hope it can grow into something more. Others I generally did like when we started dated, but I couldn't make it work. The thing is, as it has been decided between my friends, my mom, and me, I have commitment issues.
I used to deny it, but I know deep inside it's true. I was afraid of getting to close. I would find the littlest faults in them, and then break it off with them. I know it's horrible, and I always feel just awful about it, but it's the way I am. Like I said, I'm a paranoia freak. So, why is it that I know that I am in love with him? How do I know that it won't be the same with my past boyfriends? Because, none of them have made me feel, the way he makes me feel.
During that dance, when he held me in his arms, I felt like we fit. He was only two and a half inches taller then me. When I wear my favorite pair of boots I become a few centimeters taller than. When he hugs me I can tell he cares. So falling in love with him was simply easy. Probably the easiest thing in our relationship, I mean, how would I be able to confess that I like him. I knew I would be made fun of if I told anyone I liked him, lord knows my friends didn't like my ex-boyfriends from his grade before, well except for one friend, only because they were friends before hand.
I was shaken from my thoughts as he said my name. I looked back into his amazing eyes. His smile reaching his ears and I laughed. 'Shouldn't you be warming up?' I asked him. He laughed, and didn't seem to care if he would get in to trouble or not. No one else was paying attention to us, from what I could tell. His grin was still wide across his face. He wasn't Adonis, but he had his own beauty. Most would say he wasn't even that cute, but if you knew his personality, you too would think that he is one of the most handsome men out there. He replied back, and I barely acknowledged the words, only hearing his smooth voice.
'So you are you going to make me that three point shot?' I joked, even though I knew if he was allowed the shot he would bank it. He just laughed and said he would try. We talked for a few more minutes before he went back to warming up. After the team went into the locker room for their pep talk, my heart began to slow down, my breath coming back to a normal pace. Love is an interesting thing, sometimes you don't realize it's there, other times you can tell instantly. I don't know if I will ever date him, because I'm too chicken to ask him out myself, but I know one thing.
I'm not as afraid of love as I once was; I am slowly beginning to like it actually. You're never too young to fall in love. It can happen when you're six with you're best friend, when you're seventeen with the point guard of the basketball team, when you're thirty and going to a friends wedding, even when you're ninety and death is closing in. I've heard the saying, love doesn't know gender. Maybe that is true I don't know. I do know how ever that love can't tell time. Love will come as it pleases, and to fear it, is to fear happiness.