My Battle With Anorexia MAG

By Unknown, Unknown, Unknown

   My Battle with Anorexiaby Samantha Wyman, Farmington, MEWhen I was five years old, my parents got a divorce. I was so torn up inside that I developed a habit - I ate all the time. I realize now that it was to drown my feelings of abandonment. As I got older, I became very overweight. I never cared until people started to tease me. My peers used to call me "Shamu" and "Fatso" but what really got to me was the earthquake joke. When I walked down the hallway, people used to make booming noises. I felt so humiliated. I began to realize just how overweight I was. Every day is a reminder for me of how cruel people can be. I used to get scared walking to the bus stop, knowing that rocks or snowballs would be aimed my way, and that I would hear fat jokes and name-calling. Every evening I would go home crying, saying to myself, I will show them someday - and I did. All of that pent up frustration and anger blew up in my face and completely destroyed me.When I was a junior in high school, I was determined to the lose the weight I had carried for most of my life, so I began not eating. I can't remember how I got into this pattern because all I could think about was becoming somebody else's idea of perfection. But I saw drastic results. I kept losing and losing. Eventually all my pants were too big. All I knew was that I was proud but, deep down, I was slowly killing myself. I became obsessed with losing weight and no matter how small I was, it was never good enough. I was, and still am, fat in my eyes. Psychologically, I was destroyed; all I could do was think about how fat I was, and every time somebody looked at me, I felt that they were staring at how obese I was.I turned into a walking skeleton, developed a disease called jaundice, and had a serious heart condition because of all the speed I was taking. Eventually, my body decided it had been through enough and I collapsed onto the living room floor. I had won the battle of the bulge, but my new battle with anorexia would last a lifetime. My mother found me, not even able to get up, weak and dying from malnutrition and drug abuse. She rushed me to the hospital where I was diagnosed as anorexic and bulimic. I was immediately transferred into a rehabilitation clinic out of state. My stay was brief (only three weeks). They treated me for my drug problem rather than my eating disorder. I felt cheated of help and felt no one cared, so I acted like I was doing better. I am still struggling for control, but anorexia will be with me forever. c

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This article has 6 comments.

i love this so much!

on Jul. 20 2013 at 1:15 pm
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

Great article ! I have a friend who is suffering from anorexia, can pleas suggest how should i talk to her ? i really want to help her..... I killing me to see her fading right before my eyes.... also, would you mind reading a piece i wrote, its called The Epiphany, it helped a few people..... Keep Writing :)

on Jul. 6 2011 at 12:16 am
Gymnastgirl26 GOLD, Austin, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments
This story rings true. When I became anorexic, I was more out of shape than most gymnasts. It's usually the people who gain weight then become self conscious who contract eating disorders.

on Mar. 25 2011 at 11:16 am
remembermeplz PLATINUM, Friend, Nebraska
36 articles 10 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace" -- Jimi Hendrix

you r beautiful no matter what!And if u suround yrself with poeple who love and respect u, u will fell better.

But to trully "get better" u have to want to.

on Dec. 23 2010 at 8:09 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Never give up!  If you don't want this to be your life forever, then you can make it so it isn't.  I too had struggled with body image for my entire life, and developed anorexia.  But after a 2 year battle, I recently celebrated by 1 year anniversary of being discharged from the hospital.  Recovery is REAL, even though I felt the same way you did for a long time.  But I hate to see you say that you're stuck with this forever, becasue I would never wish the pain of an ED on anybody.  And you have the power to conquer this.  You ca ndo it :) 


gaby23 SILVER said...
on Aug. 29 2010 at 10:57 pm
gaby23 SILVER, Larkspur, California
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
~Christopher Columbus

It won't be forever. I've thought I'll never be normal again, and today I'm still fighting, so please don't give up. Your pain is real, and it will make you stronger. Great writing!


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