My Battle With Anorexia This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

   My Battle with Anorexiaby Samantha Wyman, Farmington, MEWhen I was five years old, my parents got a divorce. I was so torn up inside that I developed a habit - I ate all the time. I realize now that it was to drown my feelings of abandonment. As I got older, I became very overweight. I never cared until people started to tease me. My peers used to call me "Shamu" and "Fatso" but what really got to me was the earthquake joke. When I walked down the hallway, people used to make booming noises. I felt so humiliated. I began to realize just how overweight I was. Every day is a reminder for me of how cruel people can be. I used to get scared walking to the bus stop, knowing that rocks or snowballs would be aimed my way, and that I would hear fat jokes and name-calling. Every evening I would go home crying, saying to myself, I will show them someday - and I did. All of that pent up frustration and anger blew up in my face and completely destroyed me.When I was a junior in high school, I was determined to the lose the weight I had carried for most of my life, so I began not eating. I can't remember how I got into this pattern because all I could think about was becoming somebody else's idea of perfection. But I saw drastic results. I kept losing and losing. Eventually all my pants were too big. All I knew was that I was proud but, deep down, I was slowly killing myself. I became obsessed with losing weight and no matter how small I was, it was never good enough. I was, and still am, fat in my eyes. Psychologically, I was destroyed; all I could do was think about how fat I was, and every time somebody looked at me, I felt that they were staring at how obese I was.I turned into a walking skeleton, developed a disease called jaundice, and had a serious heart condition because of all the speed I was taking. Eventually, my body decided it had been through enough and I collapsed onto the living room floor. I had won the battle of the bulge, but my new battle with anorexia would last a lifetime. My mother found me, not even able to get up, weak and dying from malnutrition and drug abuse. She rushed me to the hospital where I was diagnosed as anorexic and bulimic. I was immediately transferred into a rehabilitation clinic out of state. My stay was brief (only three weeks). They treated me for my drug problem rather than my eating disorder. I felt cheated of help and felt no one cared, so I acted like I was doing better. I am still struggling for control, but anorexia will be with me forever. c

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Shagun This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 20, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Great article ! I have a friend who is suffering from anorexia, can pleas suggest how should i talk to her ? i really want to help her..... I killing me to see her fading right before my eyes.... also, would you mind reading a piece i wrote, its called The Epiphany, it helped a few people..... Keep Writing :)
Gymnastgirl26 said...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 12:16 am
This story rings true. When I became anorexic, I was more out of shape than most gymnasts. It's usually the people who gain weight then become self conscious who contract eating disorders.
remembermeplz said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 11:16 am

you r beautiful no matter what!And if u suround yrself with poeple who love and respect u, u will fell better.

But to trully "get better" u have to want to.

sunnyhunny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 23, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Never give up!  If you don't want this to be your life forever, then you can make it so it isn't.  I too had struggled with body image for my entire life, and developed anorexia.  But after a 2 year battle, I recently celebrated by 1 year anniversary of being discharged from the hospital.  Recovery is REAL, even though I felt the same way you did for a long time.  But I hate to see you say that you're stuck with this forever, becasue I would never wish the pain of an ... (more »)

gaby23 said...
Aug. 29, 2010 at 10:57 pm
It won't be forever. I've thought I'll never be normal again, and today I'm still fighting, so please don't give up. Your pain is real, and it will make you stronger. Great writing!
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