At first, when he smiles, it warms your heart. You spend the rest of the day in a daze, thinking he smiled at me. Me. It was me who he was smiling at. Me. Then, every time he sees you, you feel a tingling, right at the pit of your stomach.You’re confused, and you don’t know it if your emotions that are making you feel this way, or simply hormones. A week later, you’re floating on a cloud. You drift through the hours, humming softly to your self. He’s constantly in your mind and it feels good. You’re constantly high, he’s always on your mind. You say to yourself this must be love. But then, he wraps tightly around your heart. He’s squeezing, squeezing, and you can’t breathe, you’re falling, falling, grasping for hand hold, but there’s nothing to hold on to, and you can’t read your favorite books anymore, or watch your shows. They all remind you too much of him and it hurts, it hurts. At night, you lie in bed, and you don’t know what to think, because all you can think about is him, and it’s all just so confusing. This is a new emotion, something you’ve never felt before, and you just don’t know what to do.
December 6, 2008