Slob | Teen Ink

Slob MAG

By Anonymous

   Hi, my name is Lorick and I am a slob. I don't find anything wrong with this. I figure if I'm home and I don't feel like hanging up my clothes, the next best thing to do is throw them on the heap of clothes already on my closet floor. If you looked at me, you'd never know I had magazines from the ice age under my bed. Under my bed is a haven for every item that's worthless to everyone, but it's still possible I may use them next decade. What is wrong with being a slob? I'm usually able to find everything when I need it. It's not causing any huge problems in my life.

The only people in my life who have a problem with my messy tendencies are my parents and my sister. My parents' favorite word to describe my room is atrocious. The way they use that word you'd think it had been condemned by the health department. All I can say is that at least you can see the floor. If they ever saw any of my friends' rooms, they'd probably break out in hives. My dad is, honestly, Mr. Clean with hair. When he is home he will decide to clean the house top to bottom - making us clean also. Usually a hundred percent against our will. I think my dad's favorite smell is Lysol, which is a very, very scary thought. My mother is completely the opposite; my diagnosis for her is denial of sloppy tendencies. What I find funny is the fact that I get lectured about how immature I am just because my closet is messy and she owns the eating room table with her dump of junk. Here's a list of items found scattered across the table: old mail, gloves, hats, buttons, purses, keys, old newspapers, coats, books and bills. If anything is ever moved from this pile, a frantic search team kicks into action. I can understand my sister's frustration, considering we do share a room, but she adds to this dilemma by throwing stuff in my closet or on my bed.

I know I am an unorganized person: I've tried numerous times to become neat. All attempts have failed. I haven't given up; there's always a miracle. At this exact moment my closet is clean; you can even see the floor. My dresser drawers are looking very tidy. My bed looks like a tornado hit it. Two out of three isn't bad.



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i love this so much!