I took life for granted, assuming it would alwaysbe me and Mom until we got old and gray together. Boy, was I wrong.

Life completely changed one November day almost four years ago.I got into a big argument with my mother before going to sleep over at afriend's house. Sometimes I think that maybe, if I had just gotten aquick drink, or remembered something to take with me, I could havechanged the future.

My mother had always had seizures. She gotthem when she was nervous, tired or unhappy. I was used to them and knewwhat to do, although she hadn't had one in a long time. Usually I wasscared she'd have one and I wouldn't be able to help. Ironically, that'sexactly how she died.

When my family told me my mom had passedaway, I screamed and cried until my head hurt. Deep inside I realized mymother was dead, but I didn't want to believe it. I had seen TV showswhere kids talked about how horrible the death of a parent was, butnever thought I would go through it.

That night, after I calmeddown, my grandmother told me the paramedics had concluded my mother hada seizure in the shower, fell and was knocked unconscious. Her foot hitthe drain plug and closed it; she drowned before she came to.

My mom was the most important person in my life. I would have riskedanything for her because she was so special. I know she loved me morethan anything. We had a special bond that was strong and loving. I admitthat sometimes we didn't get along, but after she died I realized howmuch she meant to me, and how important all mothers are to theirchildren. I still have this feeling deep in my heart that my mom diedbecause of me, and sometimes the guilt is unbearable. Other times, Ithink that she has forgiven me and looks down on me from heaven, myguardian angel.