As I was lying there on the ground, I could feel myself dying. The breaths were slower and slower, with little time left; I knew that I was going to be gone. I finally stopped breathing. I blacked out. Just lying there, motionless, I knew I was dead, but for some unknown reason I also felt like I was still here. Her hair still clenched in my fist, I wanted to let go, but I just couldn't. If I were really dead then my hand should have dropped to the ground. I was looking at myself. I knew I was gone but I wasn't. I was watching myself with the nerves in the pit of my stomach. You shouldn't have that feeling when you are dead. Everything became blurry then and I was no longer looking at myself. I was looking at the girl that had a tight grip around my neck. I finally forced my-self to let go of the long, silky, black, beautiful hair. I started to breathe more and more; my breathing was coming back. There was no sharp pain on my neck any longer. Could it be? Did she let go? Then I saw the clouds and I knew I was alive. I should have died. For some unknown reason I was still living. Was it because I have a purpose for being on this planet? Or could it be because I am young and I have a long life ahead of me? I just want to cry every time I think about what happened. I just don't want to have to deal with all the drama that has to do with what happened. I guess I will just have to start living my life to the fullest and get over the tragic incident.
I Should Have Died
February 10, 2009