Dear Dad

February 8, 2009
Dear Dad,

The story repeats once again. The tears, the screaming, the arguments, the despair. Once again I find myself crying every night, wondering if your going to be okay, if your going to make it through one more day. Blasting music up so high, ignoring the cries of anger and betrayal form my mother, who has locked her self in the bathroom once again. Afraid for us too see her that way.

I find myself lying to my baby sister, telling her that everything is okay, that youre working hard to buy her candies and toys. But as young as she may be, she knows the truth. She knows everything. Your problem with alcohol, your jail time, about us wanting to leave, and about her. She knows about her. Again my mom threatens to leave you, packing all of our things.


But like always we stay. Once again we fall into your lies that you will change. And you do. For a while. And in those few weeks, Dad, life is amazing. I see you everyday, you get home before seven, and you take us out for dinner. In those few weeks I feel like were a family, like you love us more then anything. But only for a few weeks. After that, everything goes back the way it used to.

I'm sorry Dad, but I've had enough of this. I've given up, I'm sick of dealing with this day after day. I'm sick of feeling like theres something wrong with me. I'm tired of always feeling scared and crying late at night. I'm sick of all your useless promises. I just want all this to disappear. I want to let go of the pain I've felt for so long. I want things to change.

And now they will. We're leaving. This time is for good. We'll call everyday, but you wont know where were going. By the time you read this the house will be empty. Only your things remaining. But, of course, we wont be there. We stopped being yours a while ago.

Maybe with this, one day you will really change. One day you'll see things my way, you'll see how heartless you were. How mom, my sisters and I had to find our own protection. How we felt like there was a dark cloud following us everywhere. One day, you'll know how it feels to be betrayed, cheated. One day you'll know how it feels to truly miss someone. One day you'll know how it feels to be me. Alone.
One day you'll know.






Sincerely,
Your Daughter





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SomeoneElse said...
Mar. 1, 2009 at 3:26 pm
wow, that was really powerful and all around fantastic.
 
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