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We all sat in dead silence and Dad drove home. No words, everyone was too depressed to bring up anything to talk about. S o I use that time to try to make sense of everything that happened.
I was so confused what just had happened.
I knew my Grandpa Richard was dying of cancer in his lung. That I was sure about, I also knew that we drove up to his home to say our good-byes. He decided he wanted to be home for his last day/night. He was lying quietly in his twin bed with blankets over him and my mom at his side. My mother stroking his hand, like she was trying to give him warmth in this cold dead day, her face was depressed. She gave me a glance and nodded her head. I looked at him and tears instantly filled my eyes. I didn't want him to die.
Fight you can beat cancer, pull out of this! I thought, over again in my head every time I saw a tear in my mom's eyes. He looked at me; I looked deep into his eyes. I can remember what words I manage to say, but he just wanted me to take care of my mom, grandma, and the rest of my family. I promised. I then took a quick glance at the room.
His clothes were neatly hung on a rack everything was laid out like it was another ordinary day. I then noticed at his bed side was a couple of pictures. It didn't feel quite right being there, in that cold dead room. I just wanted to go outside and cry until I couldn't breathe. I wanted this to all to go away.
Then after awhile, I gave him a last kiss and hug, and slowly while peeking over my shoulder, left the room. Then in that exact moment it felt like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders. I was instantly worried about my dad, mom, Rachael, Raymond, Grandma, and everyone who I loved and couldn't stand to lose...
Stop! I then felt a cold wet spot on my hand. I then stopped thinking of the day. I can't think about it I can't let my mother see me cry. This was her dad she didn't need to see me cry. I had to be strong, I sat up looked out the car window the green blurred trees pass by.
Finally, time passed in my strange nightmarish day and we got home. Pulled up slowly to the house, still no one spoke. We saw a crab apple tree on the porch with a note in it. Signed by my older siblings, Brenda, Linda, Rich, Rhonda, and Ronny with a sorry letter written on the back of the white blank card. I then ran to the back yard where one of the last gifts of Grandpa lay, asleep. My beautiful dog Annie, who we got on Christmas from him.
Dad thought we needed a dog so he went around town looking for one. He purchased one from a local police man. He knew my mom wouldn't let us keep her if he gave it to us. So my dad gave it to my Grandpa Richard to keep until Christmas Eve and come down to give her to us.
I grabbed Annie and cried endlessly into her thick red-brown fur. I was shaking so hard. I just didn't want to let go. Then my dad told me to come inside. I instantly stopped and ran to my mom. We just lay side by side on her huge bed, she rubbed my back and I rubbed her arm.
I love you Grandpa Richard. I will never forget you. I pray that you are happy.