Being is love isn?t such a ?wonderful? thing. It makes you vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart; and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. Throughout your whole life you build up these defenses. You build a complete suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you. Then one day, a random stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life... and you give them a piece of you; a piece of your heart. It?s not like they asked for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you; and suddenly your life doesn?t belong to you anymore. Your mind?s taken over from some outside force. Love does one thing: it takes hostages; it buries deep within you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the middle of the night. A simple phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter, working its way into your heart; slowly and painfully so that you feel every millimeter that it moves, every vessel that it breaks. It?s the kind of pain that makes you wish you were buried six feet underground. It doesn?t just hurt in the imagination either. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt; a real gets-inside-you-and-tears-your-insides-out hurt. If there?s one thing I hate the most in this world: its love. No matter how much good it has done in this universe, no matter how much it will do, it does just as much hurt. Causes just as much pain.
Such A 'Wonderful' Thing
January 31, 2009