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Tears of Joy, Tears of Pain This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


Ihear the phone ringing, a very loud, high-pitched ring,
A ring that gets toyour very last nerve.

I hear the voice on the other end, usually a harsh,stern voice,
but this time a very soft, quiet voice.

I hear the voicespeak, very softly, very softly.
The words hit me like a ton ofbricks.

They hit me as hard as a bullet would,
And I feel the pain as Iwould if someone had ripped out my still-beating, loving heart.

I sitthere for a few moments, letting the words sink in,
Letting them penetrate mymind.

I go to the hospital, nervous and sweating;
Scared of what I amabout to see, scared of what has happened.

Oh, God! Why is this happening?Why is this happening to me?

I see so many faces staring at me with eyessaying, Sorry,
Saying they feel my pain, but how could they?

I see myfather standing there;
White as a ghost, crying, breathing heavily.

Isee my mother lying there, not white or pale as I thought she would be,
Butrather a tan color against the white sheets.

I see her so peaceful now,not in any pain
Just the peaceful mother I had known.

I feel the tearswell up in my eyes;
they stream down my face, no stopping them now.

Ifeel my body start to shake, my legs feeling as if they are made of jelly;
Myhands shaking uncontrollably.

I feel the warm, comforting hands of myfather, helping me to stand,
Helping me to know everything will beokay.

I feel the hands of all my loved ones;
Telling me it will bealright, telling me they love me.

As I watch them take my mother away, Ithink, this is the last time I will see my mumfy;
The last time I would haveanyone to call my mother.

I sit and think of all the memories of her,
all the good, happy times. Her radiant smile, twinkling eyes.

Butthere are none;
The only memories I have are ones when she was sick andwracked with pain.

I try not to think of my mother like that,
I want tothink of her joyful, free of worries. Not in pain. It's hard.

As I sithere writing this I can't help but cry,
Tears of joy, tears of pain.




This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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