When Do You Know? This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


   Whendo you know you're in love? Is it when your stomach turns in knots when he walksby? Is it when your knees collapse when he awards you a marvelous smile that justmakes you melt? Is it when you stutter because just the idea of being able totalk to him takes your breath away?

I was a shy freshman when I met him.We were in the same chorus class together, and surprisingly I had never noticedhim, probably because he was a junior. I still remember the first day of choruswhen I was standing in front of the door.

"Excuse me," he saidas he tried to slip past me. I turned red with embarrassment, shyly staring at myfeet as if they were the most important things in the world. He laughed gentlyand took a seat.

"Who is that?" I asked Lindsay in a hushedvoice. She looked intrigued, too, but was clueless. She shrugged and we made ourway to our seats. As I passed the mysterious boy, I looked out of the corner ofmy eye to see if he was looking at me. To my surprise, he was. My heart skipped abeat and I felt my face getting hot again. I couldn't believe this striking guywas looking at me. I wanted to drown in his beautiful ocean blue-green eyes andrun my fingers through his silky honey-colored hair. I wanted to feel hismuscular arms around me. I hoped for that day, and laughed at myself. Thosedreams would never come true. A lot of freshmen fall for juniors, but usuallythey never give freshmen the time of day.

Believe me, I was astonishedwhen he walked up to me in the hall and asked if I was going to the dance thatFriday night. I shook with excitement as I barely heard his words. "I thinkso," I said, hoping he wouldn't notice the trembling in my voice or hear thebanging of my heart against my chest. I felt a huge goofy smile cross my lips ashe replied, "I hope so."

Never did I think that Jeff and I wouldbecome a couple. Sure, I had hoped for a million things, but I was also trying tobe realistic. I was only a freshman and he was a junior; why would I ever thinkanything would happen between us? To my surprise, we ended up falling for eachother at the dance, only days after we met.

We dated exclusively foralmost a year, one of the happiest years of my life. We were inseparable, doingeverything together. It was obvious to us, as well as everyone around us, that wewere madly in love. I still wish it had lasted, but alas, college got in the way.He graduated and left high school, and me, behind.

Some people say thatit's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I hate tosound so disagreeable, but whoever said that probably never was really in love.Losing Jeff was really hard; I think about it to this day. I may be two yearsolder and more mature, but I still miss the love we shared. I honestly feel wewere truly in love and believe that one day we will realize we want to betogether again. But until that day, I just keep telling myself that some lovelasts a lifetime, but true love lasts forever. I have a lifetime to live, and aforever to dream about.




This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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