At 15 MAG

By Joe, Unknown, CA

     He stood there in the shower, immobile, mute. The pouring water was the only sound and it was hot, burning hot, but it didn’t matter. He was numb, deadened by the news he had just received. He stared off, looking at nothing but seeing everything. Remembering the past, thinking about the present, contemplating the future. Thoughts of that night flashed through his mind. He had thought he was ready, but now he knew he wasn’t. But it was too late. They had. There was no going back, no second chances.

He wondered how this could have happened, if things could really be this bad. He was only 15. He thought he was old enough. He thought he was mature enough. But now he realized that he was nothing but a naive teenager who knew nothing about life.

But he would soon learn. He was going to learn a lesson he would never forget, one that would change his life forever. With the knowledge he had just gained, his life as he knew it was over. His life had ended with the ring of a phone. The news was horrible. It surpassed everything in his mind and no matter what he did, he couldn’t push it away. Now that this had happened, what was left for him? He lost everything when he answered the phone.

But had he gained something, too? No. The very thing he had gained was the reason all this was happening. He couldn’t take this pain he felt inside. There was no way to remove it. Or was there? Since his life was over now anyway, why not remove all traces of life from his body? He could have peace in death. But he said no, and although all that came out was a hoarse whisper, he was screaming inside. He knew that wasn’t the answer. He knew it wasn’t an option. He knew suicide was a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.” He knew things couldn’t be as bad as they seemed. He needed time. He needed to think, to work this through. He knew that she needed him, now more than ever. But not only her. They needed him. He needed to stay. He needed to be there for them.

This was the day his old life ended.

This was the life his new life began.

This was the day that everything changed.

This was the day that she told him she was pregnant.

This was the day he found out he would be a father.

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i love this so much!


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