January 13, 2009
By August Henry, Hartland, WI

Often when one is stressed out from work or school they begin to panic. Feelings of remoteness arise as the outside world passes by at a billion times the speed of sound. Stress begins to set in and you can’t accomplish the things before you. This type of pressure everyday can be malignant to ones health and well being. No longer will people be forced to succumb to stress and pressure from the outside world a thing of the past as I explain the ten essential steps to happiness as told by the happiest person on Earth… Gus.

The first step on must take in their excruciating pursuit of happiness is the hardest. Your precious beliefs and morals must be thrown out the window. Let know one know your doing this and for those that do, don’t let them tell you its wrong. The next step is to find someone you can do business with that you can really trust. Don’t worry because the people are surprisingly ubiquitous throughout the known world. Once you’ve fond a person its time for step three. Now is when you do your business. It may not be cheap but it’s worth it. From this point on your experience can be lonely or can include as many people as you want. It’s all up to you.

Step four get easier the more you do it. You must research and find the drippiest music on the planet. It’s best not to reverberate all the same boring old music that you’re used to listening to. Next step is to find a peaceful place to chill and relax.

Step six and seven can be respite if you don’t have cash but imp sure you’ll figure out a cheap solution. You’re going to need to find and nice smelling incense for step six and something to light it with for step seven. This will help to calm the nerves and relax the body and mind.

Step eight is optional, but I’d say it’s completely necessary to relieve your frets. Go to the super market and buy as much food and drink to munch on that you can.

Step nine is just a final security check. Get to your peaceful place and try not to thwart about all your doubts.

Step ten. I don’t mean to be a harbinger of good feelings but this is the best step. Now reach your own euphoria. Let it all go and burn one down.

If you follow all these steps you will obtain a stress free life.

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