Battle of tears

By
The alarm blared in my ear; I jumped at the slightly unfamiliar sound, and as I reached to turn it off, I found my self tumbling off my bed and hitting my head on the card board box that served as my nightstand. After finally turning it off I wobbled to my feet and dressed for school. Glancing up at the clock I realized I had about 15 minutes left, so I began searching for my bible. After ten minutes of futile searching I gave up, assuming it must still be packed. I was thrilled to hear a noise in the kitchen; it had to be my dad I thought, but when I got to the dining room I heard his truck leave the driveway. My first day of school was not going well.

I was eleven years old, and going into the sixth grade, this was my third school this year, but this school was much bigger, and I was scared. Now with my dad gone without a good bye. I wasn’t sure what to do I wanted to cry but I knew I had to be strong -- especially for my mother, with the three week old baby to worry about not her oldest eleven year old. I looked up at the wall clock. “OH SHOOT!!” I said, grabbing my backpack, throwing it on my back, and with just my luck the strap broke, but I still ran, but by the time I reached the end of my driveway the bus had passed me and turned the corner. I dropped my back pack, and my eyes began to sting. “NO!” I shouted out loud, fighting back the tears “I promise I won’t cry!” I ran inside past the crib of my sleeping infant sister, woke everyone and assisted my other two sisters with getting ready, the whole time wearing a fake smile so my sisters wouldn’t worry. My mother drove my us to school. As she pulled into the parking lot of Magnolia sixth grade campus, I opened the door, but she stopped me by asking “Honey, are you going to be ok?” I paused and turned to her, “mom, I promise I won’t cry”, I said softly, she smiled and I ran off to class. My first class was math, and my teacher was by far the meanest woman I had ever met. The work was hard, and at least a dozen times my eyes began to sting as the liquid in my them begged to roll down my face, but my promise prevented it. I prayed that God would give me His strength. I went through each class, and most of the kids laughed at the way I dressed or the way I walked, but I didn’t cry, at least not on the out side. In gym the girls laughed at my running, but no tears. In choir even the teacher laughed at my singing, but no tears. At lunch I ate alone, still no tears. I fought them back for my mother and for my self, And as I fought I found in my self the ability to hide sadness, but at the end of that long day, when I stepped off the bus I ran and threw my back pack on the porch. My dad’s truck wasn’t there but my mom’s hunk-a-junk car was. When I got inside I saw my mother cutting coupons, I froze six feet away from her. “Oh, Hi how was school, dear?” I didn’t answer; but instead I jumped into her arms and unleashed all the tears I had held in.

In the end it is for you to decide if I won the battle against my tears, but I believe, inside all of us is a sensitive side, and when we want to cry we don’t, but would it really be so bad to show our true feelings? Through this experience I learned that even some one as delicate as me can make them selves look tough, but every one and I mean every one has a place to seal away their tears and even though they don’t fall Jesus Christ counts them all.





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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

inlove/HIM<3 said...
Dec. 3, 2009 at 3:32 pm
WOW(:such a great story and you are right... jesus christ does count them and sometimes its ok to show your feelings
 
huskerfan231 said...
Feb. 2, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Really great story. Having been that kid, you did an excellent job of describing all the issues and feelings. Keep writing you are good. I would like to read more.
 
BANKER said...
Jan. 30, 2009 at 1:15 am
MOVING! YOU!

EXCELLENT!
 
jamiej said...
Jan. 28, 2009 at 2:56 am
Thank you for sharing your difficult time. Your piece really drew me in. The mark of a true writer is the ability to lead the reader into the setting and invoking the emotions you want. Well done. I gave you a 10.
 
Epona142 said...
Jan. 28, 2009 at 2:50 am
Excellent, well written. Great job!
 
justice said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:50 pm
If only these days ended when you were a kid. I sure hope this article gets read by a lot of people, young and old. We all think we have to be so tough, but we also need to know it's okay to cry. It's okay to count on Jesus Christ. It's okay to need someone. Thank you for putting this out there for us.
 
Hecken said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Very good. You involved the reader who invokes his own memories. I did wonderabout your physical condition. Was something wrong about your running etc. Very high rating
 
Aunt Ashy said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Christina, you are a very special person, and reading this takes me back to my school days. All the feelings and emotions came flooding back. Always keep that in mind when you're writing. To connect with a reader is the best compliment of all. Make sure to read and re-read all you're work so you know it flows well. It's good to know you can always count on God.
 
RubberDuckArt said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:09 pm
WOW! I loved it. If 10 is the highest vote; I'll vote 12! The story shows a teenager with strength and belief in herself and mostly, in Jesus. It touched my heart and brought back memories of my own teen-years of being scared and sad; but giving that "tough", I'll make it with Jesus, attitude. Thank you, Christina
 
gina said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Very nice paper. I agree it is socially more acceptable to hold back the tears in public and to only grieve in private. It is so much more healthy to express our feelings in the moment. I am glad you had a safe place to express your sad feeling! Nice paper. Very high rating!
 
stitcher said...
Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:16 pm
My heart went out to you. You are a tough young person and I really admire your strength and your telling of it.
 
woodland said...
Jan. 26, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Wonderful story, very touching - kind of sad, but yet very encouraging. LOVED IT. Highest rating possible
 
bb said...
Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:44 pm
i thinh it was great ten-ten. love it!!!!!!!!
 
SunshineInTheRain said...
Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Hey Chrissy Girl! Way to go! You did a really good job! You should be proud of yourself!
 
Jess B. said...
Jan. 24, 2009 at 1:45 am
I'm so glad that someone else is willing and bold enough to write about Jesus Christ! Bless you!

Jess B.
 
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