Great Grandma Hoffman

January 9, 2009
By kelsey schmitz, Graceville, MN

There’s a girl named Katie. Katie has had a really long hard year and wishes that it would all go away. One day Katie was trying to block out things in her mind that make her mad, depressed, and angry. Family to Katie is way more important than dating a guy or being popular for right now.

Katie was having a good summer but then things changed on her and her life became flipped upside down. It was a nice night out up town on Friday night. Katie was at the street dance having a good time with family and friends, like she does every year. She met a guy who she thought was very nice and good looking. She started to date him and it was going really good up until Katie found something out. One day Katie got a call from her grandma arils saying that her great grandma was not doing good. Katie started to cry and rushed right over to her great grandmother’s house. When Katie got there she seen that everybody was all crying. Katie thought right there and then that her grandma was dead. Katie didn’t want that. She wanted to see her grandma before she die. Katie didn’t want to cry but when other people cry, Katie cries to. Katie’s grandma took her into the room where her great grandma was laying in a bed. Katie sat right next to her and said hello with a smile on her face. She didn’t want to let her grandma know that she was sad so she tried to play it cool. Her great grandma took her hand and said to her, “hunny its ok to be afraid, you can cry.” Katie told her that she wanted to but yet she didn’t. She wanted to show her grandma that she was strong. An hour or two later had past and Katie told her great grandma that she was going to go for a walk and get some fresh air for a while. Katie looked at her, kissed her forehead and told her that she loved her. Her great grandma took her hand again and said, “I love you to dear. And remember, don’t be afraid, show your feelings.” Katie said okay and walked out of the room. It was a very long and hard painful two weeks for Katie. Alls she could do was sit here and watch her great grandma die. Katie was in the kitchen one day and her grandma arils stood by her side and looked at Katie and said, “thank you dear, for being her…. I know that it’s hard for you but you are being very strong about it.” She started to cry and gave Katie a huge. Katie started to cry then to. The two of them stood there for 10 minutes at least and cried. When they were done Katie got a phone call from her boyfriend. He wanted to know how she was going and if it was ok for him to see her. Katie said that it was okay that he came over to see her. She wanted him to be there to be by her side so that she didn’t have to feel like she was all alone in it. So Katie went to go meet him somewhere and the two them walked around for a while then they went back to Katie’s great grandmas house. When they got there all of Katie’s aunts were so happy to meet him. Katie and her boyfriend walked in to the house to go see her grandma. They both walked in to the room, said hello and her great grandma had asked who the young good looking man was. Katie told her that he was her boyfriend and he came to see you. Her grandma smiled and looked at Katie and told her that he was a very lucky and very nice man. She also said to Cole, “you area very lucky man to have such a wonderful young lady…take good care of my great granddaughter, treat her nice and with respect.” Katie smiled and looked back at Cole. Cole could see that Katie was going to cry so he went over to where Katie was standing, grabbed her hand and stood by her side. Katie started to cry and Cole looked back to her grandma arils. When Katie started to cry Cole grabbed Katie and brought her close to him. He gave her a huge and tried to calm her down. When Katie was hugging Cole tight she cried on his shoulder. Katie couldn’t stop and Cole had looked back at Katie’s grandma arils again. The look that he gave her, she knew that she and Cole had to take Katie out of the room. Arils put a hand on Coles shoulder and told him to take Katie outside. Katie told Cole that she didn’t want to go. “ I just want to stay by my grandmas side.” She said. Hun you need to get out of this room for a while you need to get some air, you cant keep doing this to yourself, your just tearing your own heart apart, so pleas hun, come outside and walk with me. You treat me like im a five year old. And im not a five year old, im 15 years old, I can make my own dicisions ok. Katie pleas don’t act this way. I know that your grandma is dieing and I know you lost your grandpa before but you don’t need to be acting this way to me, Im just tring to help you get through this and you keep shoving me away. How do you expect me to confort you when you keep shoving me away. Cole had tears wealing up in his eyes. Katie looked at Cole, went over to him and said, “ I’m sorry that I keep shoving you away, but its just really hard for me because I already lost my grandpa and I don’t want to lose my great grandma. Shes like my world and means everything to me. I mean so are you but you have to understand that she been in my life longer than you have been. Im sorry to say that but its true. I mean I still love you and all but I don’t want to let her go. I know you don’t want to let her go hun but some time and in some point in life you have to let go. I know you don’t want to but everybody does. That’s just the way life goes. Nobody wants to hear that but they just have to be remined sometimes. And that its ok to let your loved ones go. Everybody does and its hard I know. Its hard telling the people you love a lot but hunny it’s the only way to let you know, I said all of that because I love you and care about you. I would never want to hurt you in any way. And im sorry if those words hurt you. You just have to know that not every thing will go and run nice and smooth just like you want it to. COLE HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME? You know that those words aren’t the most conforting to me. You really did hurt me. I don’t understand why anyone would want to say that to anybody. I mean wow I know you want to confert me but your not doing it good. Hun come on please just try and understand what I’m trying to get at, you need to get out and away from this house. If you don’t get out soon your never going to want to get out, your just going to want to stay in the house and try to think that its going to be ok but really its not. Your great grandma is dieing and you have to learn to deal with it. I know that its hard to deal with a death but its ok you can cry all you want, scream all you want and do what you want to try to get through it, but just know that im always here and that I can try and help if you let me. If you don’t let me try and help you then its going to be hard for me to deal with it also… are my life right now and I want to try and protect you from anything that I can. Cole I know that you don’t mean to hurt me and that you want to try and help but have you ever thought about giving space to people…I mean maybe I just need some space, not space from you but space for me to get my thoughts cleared up and maybe get through it myself. If I cant get through the pain myself then you know who ill go straight to don’t you? Yeah im sure you’ll come straight to me right? Yes of course you’re the one who I would come to first about anything and you know that. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and everything. But I thought that you said that you could talk to only Candace about everything and anything and nobody else? Cole I know I said that but really I can talk to you to about it all….not just Candace. I mean yes I do love her to death cause she’s like my sister but I can talk to you to about it. Ok well now that its all talked out maybe we should get back to your grandmas house, they might be woundering what were doing haha.

So Katie and Cole walked back to Katie’s great grandmas house before it got to dark. When the two of them got back and walked in side all of Katie’s great aunts looked at them and smiled. Vicky (one of katie’s great aunts) walked over to the two of them and started laughing. She asked, “ Where have you two been?” Cole looked at Katie and started to laugh to. He said well we walked around and talked, I let her cry for a bit before we came back. Well where did you go though? We went to the park to swing and to just talk that’s all. Oh well that must have been fun right? Oh yeah it was tuns of fun Vicky haha. Katie thought that if they just played along that they would soon stop asking the two of them where they were at and what they were doing. Cole and Katie walked in to her great grandmas room so say hello and that they were back. When Katie walked around the corner she turned around and looked back at Cole. He put his hands on her shoulders and told her that she could do it and that It was going to be ok. So Katie turned around faced her great grandma and smiled. She walked up to the bed and sat down by her side. Katie took her hand and held tight. Her grandma looked over to the side where Katie was sitting and smiled. “ I’m so happy that your back dear.” I am to grandma…I told you that I was going to be back and that I brought someone back with me to. Katie turned around to where Cole was standing. Katie took Coles hand and told him to stand next to the bed so that her grandma could see who she brought back. So Cole stood next to the bed, said hello to Katie’s grandma. Her grandma smiled and said, “Oh I’m happy that you came back to, you’re such a nice boy.” Katie smiled and started to laugh. Cole didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say a word.

It was getting late and Katie’s grandma was getting tired. Everybody got up kissed Grandma Hoffman good night and said good bye see you tomorrow. Katie decided to go with a friend to
Elbow lake one weekend to get away from everybody in the house. She needed a place to go to and clear her mind about all of the things that were going on. Katie was having fun with her friend Whitney and Whitney’s family. Katie knows some of the people that were there but not all. She has some friends for whitney’s side of the family. In fact Katie used to date one of Whitney’s cousins. Everybody thought that it was weird that they were going out but Katie liked him and he like her. So that’s all tat matter. But anyways her x-boyfriend wasn’t there so she was safe. She was a little nervous to see him if the even came witch is he didn’t. Katie, Whitney and one of Whitney’s cousins were sleeping in a tent one night. The 3 of them were in Whitney’s camper eating like usual. Katie was sitting on the bench when she got a phone call. Katie started to cry when she was told that her great grandma die. Whitney and her cousin didn’t know what to do or say so Whitney went and got her mom. Her mom went over to Katie and told her that she’s in a better place and that its ok to miss her. Katie said, “no its not ok, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. I told her that I was coming back and that ill see her again.” From there on out everybody just let Katie be and let her cool down for a bit.
Katie, Whitney and hope went for a walk so that Katie could get some stuff out of her mind. She thought to herself that if she would of just stayed home that none of this would of never happened and that she would be able to see her yet before she passed. Katie blamed her self for her great grandma’s death for the longest time. But when people told her that it’s not her fault your not the reason why your grandma died. It was just time for her to go. God was calling her and she just didn’t have the strength to hold on anymore. When Katie thought back to what she said to her great grandma before she left, she realizes that her grandma said ok and that she would hold on till she got back. She thought to herself on what she said and wants to blame herself yet she doesn’t.

While Katie was in Elbow Lake for the weekend she would just sit around and didn’t talk to anyone about anything. Whitney and hope would try and get Katie to do something but Katie wouldn’t budge. She said no I cant its just hard for me to do anything right now. I just want to sit here and do nothing for a bit longer. “Katie please don’t be like this come with us to the lake and well have some fun k…please?” “Why do you guys treat me like a little kid? Can’t you see I just want to be left a lone for a while? If I want to do something ill tell you but for right now I don’t want to do anything, just let me be…damit I just lost my great grandma and I’m lost without her ok. Do you know what its like to lose someone like that? I didn’t think so….see it’s hard for me to deal with death of a person that I love the most. Like if I ever lost you two I wouldn’t know what in the world to do. It would just be boring without you guys in my life. I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to.” “Katie its ok to be sad and its ok to feel like your nothing but you still have us and were not leaving you ok. You don’t ever have to feel left out of anything ok were always going to be here for you no matter what. Like death do us part…you know like in the wedding vows. Haha?” “ You think this is a time for laughing? Do you see me laughing about it? No I didn’t think its funny but maybe you could laugh a little I mean it wouldn’t hurt you to try to even.” Well I’m sorry but I don’t feel like laughing today. It just wouldn’t be right for me to laugh when my great grandma died…if you know what I mean.

Great grandma was the best and I love her. So I wont laugh or I wouldn’t say anything bad towards her.

The author's comments:
this pice is about me and how i delt with my grandmas death over the summer and tried to keep my relationship going with my boyfriend that i loved.

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