Perhaps you believe in destiny, that two people were made for each other along with the designs of the universe. Maybe you believe in fairy-tale endings and happily-ever-afters and love at first sight. Not to burst your bubble, but it’s not entirely true. Hopeful and entertaining, yes, but the fact is, love at first sight cannot and does not exist. It is the invention of poets and dazed lovers, and accomplishes nothing but make us hopeful for that perfect person we will perchance meet and fall head-over-heels for. It clouds the reality of the situation. Sorry, Shakespeare, but as for Romeo and Juliet, it was a little thing called like at first sight, and we all know how that story ended.

It is disheartening, though, to come to this conclusion. Admit it, who doesn’t dream of the perfect fairy-tale ending, the handsome prince, the lovely maiden? All the tales have one thing in common: the heroes meet and fall madly in love. But is that reality? I think not.

I love my family, I love my friends. I’ve known them for a long time, learned their habits and faults, and accepted them all the same. But the word love is used as a blanket term; the slightest little fantasy turns into love. Love is deep and emotional, not informal and detached. I like chocolate, I may like a certain actor, but I don’t have an intimate relationship with him or even know him. You may call it love, but it’s really not. An infatuation, a crush, perhaps, nothing more. Love takes time to grow and mature. It is based on truths and time to learn and talk and be together. What it really comes down to is the difference between love and lust.

“Love at first sight” is a love of appearance, and that is almost not love at all. A person can be an angel on the outside and a devil on the inside. You cannot love someone when you haven’t even met them. The only exception is parents, who often say the love for their newborn child is “love at first sight.” Still, this is a different kind of love, an unconditional and instinctual love; it is a love of something young, pure, and beautiful, something that you created which you will love no matter what for the rest of eternity. That is a love that is immediately intimate because no matter what, the child is not a stranger.

So-called “love at first sight” is a physical attraction in which you like what you see. It’s a valid feeling, but it does not equal love. So maybe that cute guy or girl you see across the room (which you claim is “true love at first sight”) is actually a jerk. Or, maybe he or she’s actually really great and you’ll go out for a long time. It was love at first sight, you’ll both say.

But it was like.

Physical attraction. Sexual appeal. It’s all hindsight. The human love that we are capable of needs tending, it does not just spring up on its own.

Poor Romeo and Juliet got so carried away. Like at first sight. Imagine that.