Thanks for the heart break

December 13, 2008
Am I alone? I never was, you were always there for me. Always there to listen to my problems. You would just listen to me, and never judge what I was saying. I was never stupid or dumb, In your eyes I was amazing. You saw more in me than I saw in myself. You gave me hope to move on when all I wanted to do was lay on the ground to die. You made it seem like it was never my fault. When I was with you I felt perfect. When my heart was broken or hurt you would be there to comfort me. You helped me through some of my biggest problems. I may not have been nice to you the entire time I knew you, but that didn’t stop you from caring for me. Through all this I gained trust in you. I believed everything you told me. I believed that you loved me. I believed that I was the only one you wanted. But is all of this true. I thought it was until the day you proved me wrong. You led me on. It felt like going to go sit in a chair, and just before you do someone pulls the chair out from under you and you fall flat. You made me feel so great. But now I feel stupid. Stupid that I believed you. Dumb that I didn’t realize what kind of person you were a long time ago. I was never amazing to you, was I? No she was, not I. Now it seems like all of this is my fault. Maybe if I was prettier you would like me more than her. Now when I’m with you it seems like all my flaws are exposed more than ever. What does she have that I don’t? My mother always told me not to give all my heart and soul to one person, but I thought you were worth it.Now you left me. You left me heartbroken and with no hope. Was it worth it? Were you really worth that constant pain, of me knowing that I could never compare to her? That you loved her and not me. How could I ever forget the way you look at her. I don’t need you to feel bad for me, but I wish you only knew how I feel. Am I alone? Yes, I am now. Someday I will move on. Honestly I never want to. I want to wait for you. Maybe you will take me back. I know that is foolish, but someone once told me, “Don’t go for the one you like, because they will leave you for the one they love.”

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