1. I heard a sound different than the ignorance of my feet stomping crunchy leaves and wondered if what I accidentally kicked sounded heavy enough to be my mom's old iPhone 1 (I never found after I spent the night at Bubbie's house in fourth grade) but not enough to look back and retrace those last few steps I’ve taken between then and now.

2. People often contrast two elements in order to determine the extent of their love. Say, I could tell people that I love being home when really I am miserable there with my drunken father and pointless wonders; I really only love being home in the mere retrospect that I simply cannot bear to be anywhere else.

3. I passed a short black woman in a big yellow raincoat walking the opposite direction and smiled maybe a little but too much. She had the look of pain in her eyes. The sky is clear and it hasn’t rained at all today.

4. I left my raincoat in French class yesterday and was supposed to get it today but I totally forgot about it until just now. Yesterday it was raining but that’s not to say I don’t wear my raincoat when it’s not.

4. I passed a tall black guy standing with a leash gripped between wrinkle-tensed knuckles, attaching him to a mutt and pretended I was laughing at the cuteness of the dog instead of the happiness I felt seeing a black man still taking walks after all these years of fighting for his rights and our lack of response. I feel like I owe him something because of my privilege but maybe thats totally wrong for me to think. The man's face disappeared of worry and he laughed back at me.

5. 90% of the people walking around Chastain right now are black human beings instead of preppy white teenagers. Those girls bug me because I know the white shirt they’re wearing is one they’ll only wear that one time and never even think of giving it to people who don’t have the option to spare even one piece of clothing.

6. I can't remember the name of that rap song OldWhiteCarWithABlueStripe was blasting but I know I used to listen to it a lot to help get me through harder days.

7. I sat down on a stone ledge between W. Wieuca and NYO to write about Tall Black Guy With A Dog and I look up to see him walking with Unnecessary Rain Coat Girl. I watch as they delicately kiss and she reaches down to pet the pooch before they set on to keep walking with her hand wrapped gently around his waist. I wonder if they live together at home and the reason they were apart is because he just wanted to run a block and then wait for her or if he just got back from a hard year in Afghanistan and quickly changed into sweats before going to meet her for the first time in a while. It seemed more the latter--the way his fingertips held onto her as if she were an angel and it’s sad to think of them apart.

8. The way their little pooch looks up at them reminds me of the way a little boy looks at his single mom while she's conversing with a new man. He's human enough to tell that there's obviously something going on between them but not old enough to understand what that might be.

9. These preppy white girls talking about their new north face just passed me for the second time and i swear i haven't been sitting here long enough for them to run the full park but I guess I can't be sure because the first time I saw them I didn't expect to see them again so I didn’t check my phone for the time.

10. I look up at every passing vehicle to make sure it's not you and I know I get slightly more disappointed each time I look back down because I think part of me just walked here in hopes that I'd see you one more time before this long week of being apart.

11. I just realized how much I really don't want to walk another mile home but I'm too embarrassed to call my mom. And, besides, part of me still has faith that I might get to see you.

12. I’m now facing NYO and there are boys not even old enough to be in middle school playing football on the (softball) field at the end of the park, which is what we usually use for practice in early season and I really can't see it as anything but a place where I fell more in love with you.

13. I wonder if Tall Black Guy and Unnecessary Rain Coat Girl remembered me from a minute or two before they passed me again.

14. All this talk of thanksgiving and reunion makes me sick and I have no idea why except last year things were totally different.

15. Lady with the pink jacket needs to shut the f*** up and put her phone away and I want to tell her this but I guess that'd just be hypocritical of me and there's absolutely nothing about me yelling at her that would fix the situation.

16. I swear I just heard your name being shouted from the park but I don't recognize whose voice it's coming from.

17. I've probably been sitting here almost an hour and my fingers are starting to type very slowly because that's what they often do when they’ve been feeling too cold for too long.

18. Preppy North Face Girls just passed me a third time and they're still jabbering on about their new coats. I can't help wondering why the h*ll someone would run that far.

19. I don't know which way I want walk home because I'm getting bored of this same old path I've been walking the past year and the walk back always feels much longer than the walk out no matter what.

20. Lady in the Skirt Being Walked Down the Large Hill on Dudley by 2 Medium-Sized Dogs needs to seriously consider hiring a dog walker or at least going back home to change out of her dinner-date clothes. I hope she goes home tonight knowing she's done enough for the world for now. I can tell from the look in her eyes as she almost crashed into me and fell down and she actually apologized to me for almost hurting herself. I wish I could've helped her back on her feet. I wonder why I didn’t.

21. Someone should invent a double leash. I can't believe I've never thought of this before.

22. It's been exactly 26 days since Halloween and you still have pumpkins on your front porch. Please; pumpkins are no good even when they’re newly ripe.

23. I don't think I've ever heard this noise coming from 2 squirrels before, but, if I have, I've definitely never noticed it until now. I wonder if that’s their mating call.

24. The neighbors right next to us who were playing basketball when I was leaving my driveway are no longer playing and I wonder if they went inside because they got too cold or if they just got tired and started their homework. I wonder if what defeated them was internal or external or mental or physical. I wonder why I’ve never talked to these boys before though I see them almost everyday.