Silvery Mist | Teen Ink

Silvery Mist

December 28, 2008
By monicaA.=-P GOLD, Morris Plains, New Jersey
monicaA.=-P GOLD, Morris Plains, New Jersey
13 articles 1 photo 0 comments

My breath is fogging up the glass. But it's already foggy enough outside. Lights cut through it like a blaring siren in the night. Penetrating the silver mist. The sky is a deep blue-purple beyond that mist. My finger tips tough the window sil as I'm on my knees looking at the night street. Houses are silent. Cars stop coming. A lone person walks under the street light. I can't tell if it's a man or a woman, for the bare branches of the tree block their face. They stop right in front of me as if they felt someone was watching. They take a long drink from a water bottle. Clad in tan khacki pants, red leather material jacket, and a few bags, they walk on. A dog barks and it would have been perfect had it not come from inside these walls. The scene shatters and it's gone.


The author's comments:
Sound like (my other story) "The Pedestrian"? I absolutely SWEAR it happened to me last night. For real.

I could have changed it and made it even better... But that would be like taking a picture and drawing over it with a black marker...
It is what it is.
And that's good enough.

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This article has 12 comments.


on Feb. 20 2009 at 10:39 pm
this passage is so vividly eerie!

keep on writing and dont ever stop dude!

olivia said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 4:57 pm
this story is just as awesome as the rest of yours but this ones got kind of an eerie feel to it you no but its brilliant old chap! keep on writing sissy

Kay K said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 12:48 pm
Loved the visual discription and feeling of being alone at night and being an observer of life.

Nick said...
on Jan. 10 2009 at 6:28 pm
Great vividly detailed story

tom said...
on Jan. 10 2009 at 8:22 am
vividly descriptive and the imagery was most realistic. i enjoyed

Anissa said...
on Jan. 10 2009 at 12:16 am
dude!!!! awesoommmeeee!!!!

=-p

snow bird said...
on Jan. 9 2009 at 5:43 pm
I always love Monica's descriptions. They are so vivid.

liz said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 10:30 pm
i loved it. can't wait for the next story. one question tho, do you sleep well at night with all this going on in your head? great work

Uncle Lou said...
on Jan. 7 2009 at 10:55 pm
Excellant imagery in your writing. Very discriptive visualazation.

Aunt Lisa said...
on Jan. 7 2009 at 8:46 pm
This reminds me of how I feel today.

Just wanting to sit quietly and observe whatever is happening. I don't want to do anything. Kind of creepy because its so dark. I like the way it has a sense of foreboding.

AAB said...
on Jan. 7 2009 at 8:13 pm
Great use of words. Nice description of the night . I am waiting to hear more....................

lucky dog said...
on Jan. 7 2009 at 7:47 pm
love it.nice imagery.good work


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